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I've been a bit of a pushy mum; & I'm not normally like that

15 replies

KatyMac · 25/10/2012 18:54



There is a show (one of those courses you pay to go on & then they put on a show; so not really, exactly a show) & DD is a bit too young to audition (6 months or so) - so I emailed saying that she was too young and I wasn't sure if she should audition & here's a link to her dancing on You-tube

Which is really, really bad of me & I am ashamed SadBlush
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fidelma · 26/10/2012 01:07

No not at all.
I am a dance teacher and I would not mind. I would be interested and if she was good I would take your money and teach her with pleasure!
If she was bad I may still take her and your money.I would be sure that she would get something out of it.
However if my course was very over subscribed I would just politely tell you to apply next year.
No problem honestly.And not pushy.
behind every Andy Murray there is a Judy! iykwim

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SoggyMoggy · 26/10/2012 02:52

I teach theatre. I am sometimes willing to budge a bit on the age thing, it depends on the piece we're doing and how many younger/older kids I've already got signed up.

But even if I'm not, I wouldn't consider this pushy. Pushy is finding my personal mobile number and texting me thirty separate links to YouTube videos, several of which you made expressly for this purpose and have your small child pleading with me to cast her as X in said videos. Oh, and posting the pleading videos to Facebook, tagging not only me, but my boss and my freaking mother.

Basically, some stage parents can be so over the top, that as long as you're polite about it, you'll seem pretty darned reasonable. [hsmile]

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KatyMac · 26/10/2012 07:40

Thanks Fidelma & SoggyMoggy, I appreciate your support; I'm so insecure about the whole thing

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Notquite · 26/10/2012 07:50

Something I have learned from having a child who is obsessive passionate about her particular sport is that as long as you're polite and proportionate, coaches are actually interested in knowing what they can do and that they're keen to progress. Obvious when you think about it, but I've tied myself in knots in the past trying not to appear pushy. Ime coaches can soon spot whether the motivation comes from the child (as is clear from your other posts) or solely the parent.

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KatyMac · 26/10/2012 08:09

Well I'm slowly coming round......I think I'd be sad if she gave it up now (although there are days.........) but it would make my life easier & cheaper Wink

I suppose her being 'the driving force' gives her strength of character, tenacity and resolve; which if I was very pushy she wouldn't have

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Notquite · 26/10/2012 08:23

Absolutely right Katy, it's an incredible lesson in working hard for what she wants to achieve and your DD will probably still be going for it when the more pushed children have managed to slip the leash and give up.

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KatyMac · 26/10/2012 11:58

"We always say that it is a worthwhile experience in itself to audition with us. The auditions are not a typical experience in that the young people are taught material and given an extended time to work with leading practitioners. Therefore I would say it is certainly worthwhile her auditioning.

Whilst I cannot confirm what show she is likely to get were she to be successful in her audition I would say that she is certainly not too young to be considered for Salsa Sisters as that cast will have a very broad age range."

Which is nice & non-committal.......Wink

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DeWe · 26/10/2012 13:24

I read the Op initially as her dc was 6 months old. Now that would be pushy Grin

Soggy probably has a few tales of that though Grin

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amidaiwish · 26/10/2012 13:28

"behind every Andy Murray there's a Judy", love that!!!

And no OP, not too pushy.

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KatyMac · 26/10/2012 15:23

Phew - at least it doesn't look like I have offended them.....

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purplepenguin86 · 29/10/2012 02:02

With groups like YMTUK and NYMT you don't audition for a particular show - you audition for the company, and if you are successful then they put you in whichever show they think most suitable. To be honest, regardless of whether or not she gets that show (although I do see why you think it would suit her) she will have a really good experience, so I would let her audition and just hope she gets that show, but enjoy it whatever the outcome. Emailing them was fine.

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KatyMac · 29/10/2012 07:25

Thanks purplepenguin, tbh the other shows they do don't inspire her the same way and while I am sure she would enjoy it - I'm less certain I could 'justify' the money for them

Mind you raising the money will be a problem anyway Sad

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ledkr · 29/10/2012 07:32

All my dc have danced and been pretty good. I have seen pushy ness you'd never believe I am constantly open mouthed. The children with the very pushy parents often don't do well and peak too early. My ds made a nice career for himself with my encouragement but I was never pushy there is a difference.
You don't sound pushy though I'm sure that is a good idea.

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seeker · 29/10/2012 07:36

Oh Katy -has she really got the time for anything else???

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KatyMac · 29/10/2012 07:50

Seeker it's next summer holidays - so she will have time; summer is a very hard time.

ledkr - pushy stage mums are a horror of mine.....but I occasionally slip

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