Dancing, girls' friendships, ranty moan

[ExpectoPatronum]

I don't really expect anyone to fix this as such, but I just wanted to moan to people who might see where I'm coming from!

DD (nearly 8) dances - she's been going ever since baby ballet when she was 2, and now does ballet, tap and modern classes each week. She's making good progress, her ballet is by far her strongest discipline but the other two aren't bad either. I've had some nice feedback from her dance teacher about how she's getting on, and dancing really is the be-all and end-all for her.

She has two close friends in her class at school, both of whom dance with the same dance school. They both joined this specific school because it's the one my DD goes to. This is fine, but over the last year or so, DD has been finding this friendship harder, the other two tend to be a pair and she's left as the third wheel. There have been a number of occasions when DD has been really upset at being left out, to the extent now that I won't have both her friends at once round for tea or anything because it's too difficult.

Anyway, the same dance school teaches lessons throughout the week, so after some deliberation (and chat to the dance teacher), I decided to move DD into different sessions just so that she could have some time out of school building up other friendships and doing her own thing instead of having this situation hanging over her even when she's doing something she loves. DD really liked this as a solution.

Only now, the mothers of the other two girls have moved their lessons too, so that they're all still together. Grrrrr!! And there is absolutely nothing I can do about it, I know.

What do you think, do you see extra curricular stuff as a way to consolidate school friendships, or as an opportunity to develop other interests away from school 'politics'?

[elphabadefiesgravity]

I see after school activities as the opportunity for dd to lean a new skill. Make sure the teacher is aware of the issues and tell dd to ignre these other girls.

Thats all you can do.

[jgbmum]

Do you know why the other mums have changed lesson times? It seems an odd thing to do, are they trying to maintain the friendship perhaps?

[ZZZenAgain]

yes wondered about that too

[ExpectoPatronum]

jgbmum, I think it probably is as you suggest, that they think it would be nicer for them all to go together. Also, the other two girls, whilst they're very giggly and hyper when they're together, are each individually less confident than my DD about doing things like this by themselves.

Oh it's fine really, it can just get a bit claustrophobic at times.