Tried Brownies today and DD HATED it!

[minko]

Have to say I felt for her, everyone knew each other and she wasn't exactly 'welcomed' just thrown in (and ignored).

I stayed to watch and it was all a bit painful... Should we persevere? Is this a one-off bad Brownies experience?

We are living in a new area so don't know anyone and no-one from DD's class was at this Brownies...

[pollypb]

Wait a bit longer for her to settle in at her new school etc and then she will probably ask you if she can go to clubs that her friends are at. I don't think you should peservere, she should be bounding around desperate to go to a club she enjoys and this doesn't sound like she will. A nicer brownie group would have made her feel very special as a new member so I am not impressed with the way it sounds anyway!

[Hulababy]

Are the girls in brownies the same girls she will go to school with?

The first couple of times dd went to brownies she found it harder as she new no one, nine went to her school and most went to the same local school together However brown owl was really good and got dd involved. She gradually got to know her six and then the others, and she liked the activities from the start. She's been going a year now and has made some good friends there and one girl in particular she plays with a lt Inc out of the club as she lives nearby.

I'd give it a couple of weeks or three and see if it improves. Maybe have a word with brown owl to see if they have a buddy system.

[LaVieEnTechnicolor]

Am a Brownie leader.

She should have been given a Brownie Buddy to keep her company, explain things and generally be a friend. Did that happen? Was she introduced to her sixer and seconder,who should also have been keeping an eye out for her? The first meeting of term is often a bit chaotic so this might happen next week if it didn't tonight.

Give it more time. I don't think any child can really make up their mind about whether they're going to enjoy an activity after one session of (I'm assuming) an hour and a half. Why did she go to Brownies tonight? Does she actually want to be a Brownie or are you looking for things to help her integrate into your new neighbourhood? Also, she might get on better if you don't stay because she'll have to interact more with the other girls. I have seen it so many times - new Brownie clings to mum's arm for the first half hour, mum leaves and Brownie immediately joins in happily with what the other girls are doing.

[HeadsUp]

I am a Brown Owl too and was going to say that first nights back of term can be a little chaotic, we try our best to introduce new girls and go for a gentle settle in night but it doesn't always work out that way. We used to play a game when the girls were arriving and it must have been horrible for new girls coming in, when I took over I gradually phased that out and start with Six Time which is ideal for introducing new girls and gives them all a chance to come in and get set for the night.

Good thing is the programme should vary and have different activities week to week which means there should be something for everyone.

[minko]

Thanks for the advice.
I have to say there was no Buddying up or introductions - just straight into games where she got left out as people didn't know her name. Then a game in sixes that involved dice throwing to get points and she never got a six so never got to start! All very rubbish in her eyes. And mine too frankly. I did stay with her and I know that might not have helped but I felt sorry for her thrown into a room of strangers who all seemed to get on so well.

Tomorrow is Brownies again and I'm not sure she'll want to go and I'm not going to make her to be honest. In answer to LaVie's question, Brownies is something I thought would be good on both scores - as an activity and as a way of integrating. But as there is no-one from her school there at all it's a bit difficult.

[HeadsUp]

I would try and catch the leaders as you go in and explain how she felt last week, they might not have even realised she didn't know anybody. It can be a bit manic at the start of the night especially first week back (hence I like my quieter start to the night now)

[peanutbutterkid]

Ah, that doesn't sound good :(.
DD goes to Brownies with only one other girl from her school.
DD loves Brownies but she gets snubbed, sometimes. Tis quite annoying.
Are there any other Brownie packs she could try? I would talk openly with the Brown Owl and see if BO is helpful or brushes your concerns off.

[Elk]

dd1 goes to a Brownie pack where there are children from 4/5 different schools, it is really friendly and she had a buddy when she started to help her settle in. They also make a big deal when a new Brownie starts to make sure everybody knows their name so they can be included. Recently a girl moved from another Brownie pack because in that pack no-one had spoken to her because they all knew each other from school/rainbows. She has settled into the new pack really well.

[GoldFrakkincenseAndMyrrh]

I'd tackle the Brown Owl about it. She should definitely have a Brownie buddy and be introduced to a couple of other girls but as others have said the first time back is chaos.

Can she try another Brownie pack and, forewarned being forearmed, can you have a chat with the leader before you go so she knows DD didn't have a positive experience last time and prevent the same problems arising?

[mumof2girls2boys]

Is she really girly if not try cubs, my DS is loving it and her younger brother goes to the same pack.