How much is too much?

[magicmummy1]

My dd (5, in year 1) has always been a "joiner". She is very active and energetic, loves doing organised activities, and can't seem to get enough of them - though I should add that she is very capable of entertaining herself happily at home for hours on end too.

At present, she does Rainbows on a Tuesday and Dance/Acrobatics on a Saturday (2 classes). In school, she is learning the recorder and she is the school council rep for her class. She also spends about ten minutes a day with her dad, learning to read/write in her second language (her choice, not his!) That's all fine.

She is now very eager to add swimming, karate and gymnastics to her regime. Swimming would be on a Saturday morning before dance, karate on a Sunday and gymnastics on a Friday evening. I have told her that she can only choose two out of these three, because I am worried that she will overload herself. She says that she wants to do swimming and karate, but she is really disappointed about the gymnastics.

Am I being mean in not letting her go? It isn't an issue of cost or logistics etc, merely that I think she needs some free time at her age just to "be"! Or do you think I I letting her do too much already? I know that these things depend on the child etc, but would like to know what other parents think is a reasonable amount of extra-curricular activity for a five-year-old child!

[huffythethreadslayer]

I don't know, but wish I did. My dd has cross country running on a Monday night, some Saturdays and Sundays. Netball on Tuesdays. Swimming on Wednesdays. Piano on Thursdays and generally a playdate on Fridays. Most Saturdays she goes to grandmas and stays overnight.

She's also in choir during school time which usually means concerts/performances on the run-up to Christmas.

I don't see how she could squeeze much else in but every now and again she asks.

I worry about whether this is too much for a 9yo, especially as she's a Twilight kid (pale face, rings around the eyes, looks like she could do with a dose of 'o' type before she goes to bed LOL.

I think you know the right balance for your own child. And if she starts to struggle with the level of activity, you can tell her she needs to reassess. It's all part of life after all....not having it all

[TidyBush]

DD1 (16) has always been a 'joiner' too and we got to a point in year 5/6 when she was doing something 6 days/evenings a week.

It did eventually impact on everyone in the family as we were always rushing meals and could never do anything spontaniously (sp?).

We eventually dropped the number of activities and she finally stuck with three activitiesthat she still does now. Piano (1/2 hr) and youth theatre (2 hrs) on week nights and Performing arts (all day Saturday).

It's easy to get involved with loads of different things but the extra commitment that some require can easily eat into what little spare time you have. Even now just those three activities that DD1 does involve extra sessions for festivals, concerts, shows etc.

[defineme]

What she does at the moment sounds fine. However, what about family time at the weekend? I accept that Saturdays are taken up by football/haircuts/parties, but Sunday is our day to pack a picnic and go out all day or have a bike ride and so on. You need that balance imo.
There's also the problem of sleep-she n eeds a good 11 hours or so at 5-will these activities impinge on that?

She sounds fab and you know her best. You're not being mean at all.

[purplearmadillo]

We are in the same position.

DD is in year 1 and does:

Monday - swimming
Tuesday - music club
Wednesday - ballet
Friday - tennis and rainbows

I also think its too much in the long term, but we thought its probably ok for now while she works out which ones she really enjoys and wants to carry on with.

[ragged]

Gymnastics is better to start at a somewhat older age, anyway. I think you'd be better introducing just one new activity at a time.

DD (almost 9) does 7+ different activities a week, she's coping but I'm not sure if I am :).

[brassband]

'Gymnastics is better to start at a somewhat older age, anyway.'

I would disagree with this.I think it's better to start at 4 or 5 when you have a less developed sense of fear

My 5yo does gymnastic X 2, cheerleading, swimming Rainbows and violin.
I think this is verging on being too much-she is getting very tired towards the end of the week.
(she also is school councillor-but I wouldn't sat this takes much out of her, ashort meeting in school time every few weeks)

[ragged]

Well, maybe you're right Brassband, it was just something I read on MN, actually. The argument was they are more likely to burn out if they start too young (ditto for things like competition swimming). 10yo was said to be the ideal age to start.

Fear not really an issue with DD... actually, I think younger DSs who were prone to being physically too cautious have become a lot more physically confident with age (DS2 is now 6yo).

Waiting list to get into gymnastics club around here is 2-3 years, so not many get to start all that early, anyway.