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Hi. Just wondered if any of you have kids and don't have a car. Am pregnant now (due end of May) and we don't have a car, but I'm thinking it's going to be difficult without one. We don't live very near shops. Nearest supermarket is a 15-min walk. My DH is against the idea of getting a car and I am in theory, but practically I think it will be difficult managing without. Also not sure we can afford one but surely a second-hand one wouldn't cost too much.
Just wanted to know if people had positive experiences of not having a car, really.
We've been car free on and off over the years. At one point I had 3 kids under 3 and no car - that was for several years. If shops are as close as 15 mins then its no problem. We've been car free with 3 teens and a severely disabled younger child too. Walking and buses are pretty easy with one child and no disabilities.
I cheat a bit - I am car-free during the week as DH uses it during the week, so do everything on foot or by public transport. I have toddler DS and am 8 months pg with DC2.
On-line shopping might be an idea for bulky shopping, 15 min walk to the supermarket to top up in between?
Also it depends where you live - I live in a city and although public transport is not the cheapest, it's pretty easy to get around. When the baby is small you can just chuck them in a sling, when they are bigger you get pretty deft folding the buggy when needed.
Also consider that although you may be able to get a cheap second-hand car, you will have to pay road tax, MOT, servicing, petrol etc, which all adds up...
I am without a car (ds is 4). When ds was a baby/toddler it was fine I really didn't miss it, now he is older it is a pain, carrying shopping/library books without a pushchair can be a struggle. As ds has got older I have started to feel he is missing out, all his friends go off to the zoo and farm etc and he has to miss out as unless you want to go shopping you can't really get anywhere by public transport.
I am and most of the time it works well enough. 15min walk is nothing for small bits of shopping (do the bulky stuff online once a week), public transport is usually ok around me as I have made sure I live within an easy walk of school, childminder and public transport links but obviously it takes longer. It would be nice to have a car to be able to go further afield quickly and easily and for out of town days out but we manage well enough without for now for it not to be a significant hardship.
I don't think not going to 'things' is missing out. especially at 4. Mine haven't never been to those things even during the times we have had a car. After the buggy days, geta shopping trolley for the shopping. We got a car this march that was wheelchair accessible for dd (4) as the buses here aren't accessible. Bloody thing costing me a fortune so its going back to motability. We've managed with dd's wheelchair without a car so we'll manage again. What city you in? Most cities seem to have good public transport. And I think a walk of up to an hour is reasonable.
It definitely has not been as hard as other people expected (it wasn't a big worry for us, as we'd never driven, but everyone else seemed to think we would struggle).
A 15 minute walk to the shops sounds ok to me. You will be on maternity leave in the summer months and probably looking for any excuse to get out in the sunshine and show your lovely new baby off to the world! Our supermarket is about 25 minutes and I quite often walk there but get the bus back if I have a lot of bags.
Buses seemed fairly intimidating at first with a huge pram. I remember I wouldn't go on one the first time until DP was with me! But it soon becomes second nature, and probably just as easy as driving in, finding a parking space, getting back to it in time etc.
I suppose it depends on whether you live in a city or in the countryside, but for me - on a day to day basis at least - I don't find it a problem.
Aaah but needmorecoffee, I can't get a shopping trolley, I want one badly but the consensus seems to be that they are too "old-lady ish", there was a thread on it the other day.
When I get a job I will save up and get a car but finding a job without a car is proving to be difficult.
Be careful if you do decide you need one. A cheap car will have lots of mileage, not be as fuel efficient, and will break down more so lots of everyday running costs, plus hidden ones plus all the insurance, tax etc.
I also use public transport as ds loves it, but for bigger jobs, shopping and work I need the car.
depends where you live, but if you can manage now without i dont see why having a lo would change things. we've never had one, i'd recommend getting a good sling you can use for a while as that makes getting around lots easier.
None of us drive and we live 30 minutes from nearest supermarket and 15 minutes from nearest shop we manage fine and both of us work as well as nursery drops etc.
My DS is 2.5YO but we have never struggled is actually lovely walking with pram, and I hated walking before but youd be amazed!
Do you have a pushchair yet?
My advice though if you dont use public transport get a good pram 3 wheelers are fab to push and actually easy to steer etc but not so great if folding all the time as they are quite bulky, if you are going to be using public transport then I'd go for a Maclaren or something because you will end up buying one in the end. HTH.
Thanks, everyone - it's really good to hear peoples' thoughts and experiences. We live in a smallish town in East Yorkshire.
I'm just concerned that having no car limits our choices for things like nurseries, and places where we can take the baby once he or she is a bit older. (eg there are none of those soft-playing things in my town - don't know what they're called!) Public transport is not good round here. To get to the nearest city, which is only 8 miles away, usually takes over an hour and that's just to the city centre.
I guess I will see how it goes - we've been told we can borrow my in-laws' car sometimes, and we can get the odd taxi if we need it. I think it's the people who have cars who say "You'll definitely need one!" who are worrying me a bit!
I think it'll be fine when I'm on maternity leave but get harder possibly when I go back to work. It'd be nice to be able to nip round to visit my sister or go to feed the ducks or something, but not really feasible with no car. Hmm.
My advice as one who was carless for a few months while ds was small is get a travel system. I know they are not ideal but it is ifuriating to have to refuse lifts-worry about should you get a taxi etc while out and about because of no car seat. Also it is handy to leave baby in it if you have to fold up rest of pushchair to go on bus (you can place seat on ground etc)It sounds a bit mad I know but I think it is when they are most useful.
for those whose refuse to get a shopping trolley, what about a large backpack? my nearest supermarket is 25mins walk, and it's uphill on the way back, so that's how I manage (bus fares are daylight robbery around here).
DD is 20mo, and we have been car free until yesterday.
<I had to get one for my new work, who refuse to employ me in a community health care position without one, even though I did the same job in a different area until recently. Eco-terrorist swines >
Interested to know what you would suggest then if you are out and about and end up needing to get a taxi? As i said it is only my opinion but presumably the op would get a seat anyway and I found it very useful as I would never put my child in a car with no seat.
Other option is a bike with trailer -although the ones which can take a small baby are more expensive. But could be good for when dc is a bit older and extends your radius of places to go.
well I never get lifts/taxis anywhere as we are in town so the majority of people are on foot
I have taken black cabs and you just leave the kid in the buggy and hold onto it. If they are toddler size then the newer black cabs have a built in seat you can use
Some cab companies will bring a child seat if you prebook which can be handy for airport trips etc
My DP has a large, family-sized car that can carry both of us, the two DSSs and DD - but he uses it for work and I don't have a car during the week. This is entirely through choice. We live a short walk from the supermarket, a mile from a street market (for fresh food) and a mile from DD's school. I do most shopping and school runs on foot, and take the bus when I want to go further afield or if it is raining.
I order all the heavy and non-perishable groceries on line, as a matter of course, and get other deliveries too - when you live "car free" you quickly discover just how much you can have delivered to your doorstep.
I would try life without a child without a car and see how you get on. It will probably mean shopping almost daily - but actually it gets you out of the house, which is no bad thing.
Thank you. It's mainly that the public transport round here is a bit rubbish that bothers me, and the being limited in where we can go. I guess I'm also worried about being isolated. Would be lovely to just pop into a car and go and visit family/friends.
The Blonde, I thought you needed a car seat to be get home from the hospital? When I was in they insisted on it.
Either way, I would definitely second the travel system. It's great to be able to get lifts when offered - a friend takes me and both our toddlers to soft play, for example.
MsG, a friend of mine lives in York and is in some kind of car rental scheme where you pay a certain amount a month to borrow a car when you need it. They can't afford a car at the moment, so it seems to work for them. They pick it up nearby when they need to do a big supermarket shop or visit family.
MsG- Travel systems are good as it means you get best of both world with pram and seat BUT you should never leave a baby in one for more than 2 hours as they can damage their spines, alot of people use them but personally and going by expert advice I wouldn't use one unless you get one and if you know you will be getting a lift/taxi/bus then you could put the seat on but otherwise Id just use pushchair.
They are normally a bit more expensive but you can get cheaper ones depends on your budget.
MsG, I haven't driven for nearly 10 yrs now. We do own one car, but since we moved back to a big city we never use it during the week, as driving in Milan shortens your life expectancy of 10 yrs .
In the UK we lived in a small city, it was just a 10 mins walk to the shops. You'll find that popping baby in a pram and go for a long walk is often a life saver. You can also do your main shopping on line, as it's been suggested already.
When my children were on the buggy it was pretty easy to go shopping as I managed to hang lots of bags on the handles.
I now own a granny style shopping trolley, of which I'm very proud. And there are lots of chic Milanese women sporting various kinds of shopping trollies (sp?). They are cool (unfortunately they are outnumbered by those with big cars )
Shopping trolleys are chic in the way that bicycles in the city are - they speak loads about the bearer - as in "I am a proper inner city living girl who shops selectively in lots of small specialist shops, not a Desperate surburban housewife who drives to a hypermarket <shudder>"
I've never made the correlation to be honest, as here in Milan it seems fashionable to own huge cars even if you live under the Duomo . I'm really starting to hate drivers here. I shout and pull faces
There are definite kudos to not owning a second car here in Paris because in order not to do so you need to live very close to the shops/school/park which is by definition expensive and pleasing architecturally.
4x4 owners live in --Neuilly-sur-Seine-- the suburbs <shudder>
to OP we live in the outskirts of London we don't have a car, shopss are within walking distance and we also use online shop for some groceries. we have always had car seats which can be used in most cars because we sometimes rent or borrow cars for longer trips, or sometimes go in friend's cars
it is really fine but lots of things are within walking distance and we have good train and bus links also a strong sturdy buggy helps
Well if Anna8888 owns one then they can't be naff.
I might look into getting one again. Anna I imagine you look pretty chic when you push your trolley as I expect you have immaculate manicured nails and a nice swingy little mac. Usually I am doing the shopping with frayed jeans and baggy jumper so I might need a wardrobe update before I am brave enough to venture out with a trolley!
i managed fine with one baby in our old area but now with one baby and one toddler i am getting so stressed with nasty bus drivers and long journeys as well as missing out on so many nct things as they are held in places no buses or trains will go to i am going to take driving test
so i think you need to look at your local area and services, especially how regular they are as waiting an hour for the next bus home when one hasnt turned up (near me) is far worse than waiting ten minutes (near mil)
We used to need 2 cars for work and nursery runs and when we moved we made sure we moved somewhere where we didn't need to do that. Now we only have one car and we barely use it during the week.
We would struggle without one at all, even though we would be OK for day to day things. We go camping a lot and I think this is hard with 3 small children and no car. And DP is a very keen windsurfer and that is really very hard to do without a car to carry the equipment - we also have kayaks and a sailing dinghy and surboards. It would mean giving up on quite a few of our major hobbies.
But I do feel quite pleased that we manage with bikes and foot for all of our daily journeys. If I wasn't with DP and we didn't have all the watersports activities and the girls were a bit older I could imagine living without a car. But it would involve dumping DP and all his Large Hobbies (lots of DIY/building activities which need a lot of stuff transported too).
We don't have a car. I have 2 dds, one of whom has CP and cannot walk, so uses a buggy. We take cabs for her when necessary (sometimes it is hellish on the bus with her large buggy!) but we get on fine. Agree re internet shop though. We do this with top us at local shops. We get bulky stuff delivered. We even took a cab to Dorset (we live in London) one Christmas to stay with friends - it was a special treat, it was a guy they knew so he gave us a good price, and we didn't feel guilty, especially as we hadn't spent money on car stuff during the year. The driver was heading back that way anyway, so was glad to get some money for his return journey!
Of course it is possible to survive about a car but you do need to take the isolation factor into v serious consideration.
We have a car but I never drive it because a) I hate driving and haven't driven for four years and am now out of practice and don't dare, b) I am trying to be eco, c) I live in London and a lot of the time you can get around with public transport (though with a baby and a toddler, it's challenging ).
But in hindsight I would say thatI was sometimes lonely during the first year of dd1's life as I didn't know anyone locally and getting around with her on buses etc was too much of a faff and took too long to do very often. Friends with babies often drove to see me, but I know they were a bit pissed off that they always had to make the effort. If public transport is bad round you and there isn't much going on locally then I'd say a car is pretty vital to keep sane by going to baby groups etc. Shopping isn't such an issue for the reasons mentioned by others. Also, I have a get out clause, that my dh drives us around at weekends and we are able to do a lot of things then that without a car would be, virtually impossible. Before you have children it's hard to imagine how isolating it can be and how much you'll need other mum friends.
So I'd say go for it, just don't use it unless strictly necessary ie walk to the shops. Good luck.
I write as someone who thinks people drive too much and am at mothers around me who drive their dcs to nursery when it's less than 10 mins' walk away. But sometimes a car is very handy indeed.
Thanks for all the comments - v helpful. I think to be totally honest the isolation thing is what bothers me the most. Nearest train station is a 30 min walk, which is fine until it's raining and windy. Buses are not that regular - about one an hour to the nearest big city but often unreliable, and like I said, a lot of the places I might want to go to are not places you could get to on public transport.
But we do have my in-laws' car that we can borrow, so at first I might start off doing that occasionally and seeing how it goes. I don't even have any friends with kids round here at the moment. We were in London for 9 years and perfectly happy without a car there as the transport was so good and it was easy to get to anything we wanted.
If you are a cyclist, you can get around quite easily with a baby on the back once they're over about 6-8 months. But you can't really take them by bike in the first few months - unless you get a bike trailer which takes lying down babies. And if you have 2 or more children it gets harder, though there are ways of taking 2 or even 3 on a bike.
If shops are only a 15 minute walk away that's easy but you need a buggy with big air filled tyres, good suspension and a big basket or you could do your shopping online. I prefer to be able to see my meat, fruit and veg though before i buy it.
we chose to live in a city so we could be car free despite the fact I hate cities. Would hate to think I needed a car every time I wanted a pint of milk.
I think the problem with owning a car is you take it for granted after a while and whereas you would have walked before you dont after a short while when you own a car.
Could you use taxis when you dont have an alternative?
Shops 15 minutes away doesn't sound to far, infact it may take you more time to pack baby into car along with pram, find a car parking space (usually a nightmare) and then get everything out agin and do it all in reverse.
Whereas pop baby in pram, shut front door and start walking could well be quicker.
I didn't have my own car when my first dd was born and walked 30 minutes into town three four time a week and did "bits" of shopping. Nappies from boots I would buy 6 packs and take to my mate who worked in town and she would bring them round when she came to visit once a week. (where there is a will theres a way
BTW those soft play things are sheer hell! we generally go to them once every 2 or 3 months. our nearest one is a 30 minute bus journey (2 miles away) but we often walk it in late spring, summer and early autumn when the weather is ok.
Our nearest city is 14 miles away from where i used to live and it took 50/55 mins on bus. Now we lives 14/15 miles away but we have to get the first bus of 50/55 mins, another bus of 20 mins plus a 10 minute walk. admittedly we don't go very often but i don't see it as a hassle when we do go. it's just that we have a massive shopping centre 10 mins away so don't really need to. If it's just one bus to your nearest city then it shouldn't be a problem at all.
As for nurseries and toddler groups etc we have loads within a 1.25 mile range that we frequently walk to. there's a new one we are thinking of going to which is a 2.25 mile walk. The nearest park with ducks is only 3/4 mile away for us so we are quite lucky but we quite often go to the next one along which is 1.5 miles.
If you have friends/family that might offer to give lifts i would get a cheap car seat or perhaps a second hand if you can buy one off someone you know or known through someone else iyswim. When out if i need to get a taxi i ring the office and book one and tell them to bring a seat rather than flagging one down.
I usually go to my cousins once a week. She lives 20 miles away. it involves a 10 minute walk, 50/55 min bus, 20 minute train, 10 minute walk and 10 minute bus! Can do it in about 1 hr 30 mins ish cos i am lucky that i don't really have a wait inbetween connections.
If you don't fancy a shopping trolley a big rucksack does the same job.
i think if youre managing now wthout then you should be fine, if it things like trips and days out you are concerned about then you can get taxis, i dont think its worth buying a car, taxing it, MOTing it, insuring it and keeping up repairs just for a few days out each year. as you said, shop is only 15 mins away, thats fresh air and excercise for you all, bumping into neighbours and friends, getting adult interaction. my nearest shop is literally a 5 minute walk away and i usually end up taking the car. it has made me soo lazy having a car and they cost a fortune. i need it for my work as it is 45 minutes away by car, and yes its handy to visit family and friends as and when i please but if i had to do without i know i could.
Our DS is 16mo and we don't drive - never had a car. The area we live in has good train links (buses are crap though) but I do a lot of walking - you should see my leg muscles now LOL. Our nearest supermarket is 15 mins away, down and up a hill - I'm used to it now! Don't forget you can do your food shopping online etc.
I do tend to get lifts if I am going somewhere with friends/family and it's hard to get to, but that doesn't happen often.
My DH is learning to drive ATM, but doubt we could actually afford a car even if he does pass his test!
If I had another one I would consider learning to drive, but that's a few years away yet...
Cheers - lots more good comments - definitely feeling more positive about not having a car now! I think I'm worried that I'll end up relying on family and friends a lot, but then I suppose with family they'll want to see their little nephew/niece/grandchild, won't they? It'll make me fit, that's for sure! Will be more sociable too as breaghsmum said.
HTH. 
> 
Milanese women sporting various kinds of shopping trollies (sp?). They are cool (unfortunately they are outnumbered by those with big cars 
) 
at mothers around me who drive their dcs to nursery when it's less than 10 mins' walk away. But sometimes a car is very handy indeed. 
