Do I really want a child?

[Pipbin]

I am nearly at the end of my second round of IVF. We have been ttcing for about 3 years now. After our first failed IVF I was devastated and wanted to get on with the second one as quickly as we could.
Yesterday I had egg collection and I'm due to have embryo transfer on Wednesday.

My problem is that the ache, the longing, the want to have a child has gone. It's just vanished. It used to be, when we were about 2 years in that I just couldn't cope with pregnant woman, babies or children, but now I'm fine.

So, wise ladies of MN, do I really want a child? Is this just my way of coping? Tell me all the great things about having children.

[Dromedary]

Not aching for a child doesn't mean that you won't love the child if you have one. You very probably will, especially if you quite like other people's children, and aren't just trying for a child because it's the done thing.
But or course it's not the only path in life and I know a good few people who are (as far as I can tell) happily childless with no interest in children. It was in the paper v recently that couples without children are more caring of each other. They certainly have a lot more time and money!

[midnightagents]

Hi, sorry, just saw there wasn't many replies to this. The fact that you want to be convinced hints to me that having children is still something you would like to do, even if your not experiencing that aching longing anymore.

Probably not that many people actually have children whilst they're in that longing stage for them, I for one didn't plan my child and had them a lot younger than in an ideal situation. However, I absolutely adore her, even though it is very hard sometimes and I suffer from depression.

The problem is though, in your situation are you worried about perhaps going through the ivf, rekindling that longing, and then being at risk of it not happening? If that's the case perhaps it's more of a self preservation thing, and only you can work out in your head what is right for you, because everyone will feel these things differently. I hope it works our for you though, whatever you decide!

[Pipbin]

Hi, thanks for the reply.
I had the embryo transfer yesterday and I feel better about it all now.

I think you're right Midnight, it is a self preservation thing. I don't want to let myself hope too much about it.