Hi,
I've never posted on here before but I'm at a loss at what to do so any advice would be appreciated.
I have a younger sister, we couldn't be more different, whilst I was always driven to succeed academically and on the career front, she was bent on getting drunk, doing drugs etc...
We have absolutely fantastic parents and they never lost hope for her, providing with food, money and other basic needs whenever she asked. She got pregnant in 2006, with no where to live and abandoned by baby daddy she came and stayed with me. The news of a new family member excited me and gave us all renewed hope that my sis would turn her life around.
This wasn't the case, through the whole pregnancy she was chasing after a new bloke, squandering her sure start loan on men and cigarettes.
I was there through the birth and sure enough when my little nephew was born as were my parents. Initially she didn't bond with her new son, going out every single weekend and every evening looking for a new boyfriend, whilst I continued a full time job juggling a new baby and career and life in general, of course with help from my parents.
It was apparent the during the day my nephew hadn't been fed, changed etc..during the day and i started paying for a private nursery from 4 months of age so that I had peace of mind that he was being taken care of. I received no thanks from my sis for all the things I did, instead I frustrated her, she started getting verbally and then at time physically abusive to me.
Two years down the line she got married to a guy with no job prospects( she only knew him for a couple of months) , I wasn't keen on him and he wasn't a stable influence for her or for my nephew, she moved around the corner with her new husband ( living on benefits and child tax credit) to pay for everything. With neither getting a job it wasn't long before it all unravelled - 6 weeks later she was back with me and even angrier than before.
I've been looking after and paying for my nephews every need including private school since the age of three. About 18 months ago, she met someone else ( with loads of boyfriends in between him and husband) this man is incredibly nasty and callous. On so many occasions she and him have tried to push me away out of my nephew's life, only to then beg for money because she can't provide three meals a day seven days a week. She plays this game with my parents too. In the whole time since my nephew started school she has never taken him or collected him from school, never paid dinner money, trip money uniform, snacks etc... When I've spoken to the school they say their hands are tied and there is no reason for them to inform ss as he is not neglected. Btw my mum washes all his clothes too.
The issue is now is that she is moving 250 miles away with her boyfriend as he has a new job promotion, my worry is that my nephew will be neglected, I am also stuck in a contract with the junior school to pay fees for the next term as she only told me 2 days back of her intentions to move. It's not about the money, she told me she'd pay me back but she never paid me back for anything and she doesn't have a job and never has done so these are empty words. I'm so devastated, every time I try and speak to her she puts the phone down and refuses to hear what I have to say. I was suggesting that my nephew complete the term that's paid for, giving her time to settle in and find a place to live and choose a good school. My dad went round to speak to her but she manhandled him and kicked him out of her rented house. I am scared to face her face to face because she wouldn't think twice about raising her hand to me.
I haven't been in contact with her since as I don't want to aggravate her. I'm so sad, don't know what to do. I have been in touch with organisations dealing with child care issues but the risk is that my nephew will be taken into care. Please help me someone
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Ethical dilemmas
Family dilemma- help please
9 replies
Mjkp · 01/08/2013 10:45
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