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Ethical dilemmas

Job offer, 17 week old baby, 6 weeks pregnant...

5 replies

Eddiethehorse · 16/12/2012 19:13

Please help me...I'm on mat leave but have in that time been made redundant. I have a 17 week old baby and have just found out I'm 6weeks pregnant. Firstly, the pregnancy:if I hadn't been made redundant I think myself and DH would have thought, it's not ideal but we will go for it and deal with it. Without me working a second baby would be very difficult, coupled with the fact that DH is not overly keen but 'will support any decision I make'. Last week I was interviewed for a job which seems pretty good, however, I am terrified of leaving DD at home with a nanny and also don't know how I feel about joining and then 2 months or so down the line saying 'I'm pregnant but had no idea'. I have no idea how this will be received and am scared about doing it. Additionally, i would like to ask about WFH but don't know when to do that -offer stage, after I have started? I'm so confused about everything...if I don't take the job then we may have to look at a termination, if I do take it will DD suffer, me not being around? I may be fired after a few months for being pregnant....I just do not know what to do......

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MumsKnitter · 16/12/2012 22:19

I'm sorry - I don't have any useful advice! I just wanted you to know that someone had read your post and felt for you. I took a job once when I knew I was newly pregnant. I only did it for 10 weeks, but it brought in some useful money till I quit (as I hated the job). I never felt any guilt about taking it knowing I was pregnant - I did it perfectly till I quit, and they only had to post the vacancy again in the shop window to refill it. It must be hard to come to any rational decision when you are pregnant and have such a young baby - don't worry too much about your DH's reaction. Of couse he has reservations about it all getting harder when it is already hard, but whatever you decide will become the right decision as it will be the only life you know.

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timetosmile · 16/12/2012 22:29

I interviewed for and took a job when I was 7 weeks pregnant with DC3, and didn't tell them and six yeas later I'm still there
Because I hadn't yet had a scan, and 20%+ pregnancies end (sadly) in a miscarriage. So I didn't want to prejudice a good job opportunity in case the pregnancy wasn't viable. I don't think I would have kept quiet if I was 14/15 weeks though.
It sounds as if you have a lot of things to think through OP, but on the narrow issue of 'should i tell?' at interview at 6weeks' pregnant, I think its entirely reasonable not to tell your prospective employers.

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RyleDup · 24/12/2012 16:50

I'd take it if its offered. Interveiw lots of nannies and find someone you love, and if theres no problems with the pregnancy, tell work further down the road.

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littleblackno · 26/07/2013 00:21

I took a job when i was 5 weeks pg. They can't fire you for being pg as that would be discrimination. You do not have any obligation to tell your employer unless being pg could affect your ability to do the job (theres very few i believe, because it's subjective) obviously if you don't tell them and something happens to your baby then you can have no claim against your employer (if that makes sense?).
I cannot imagine having 2 babies 12 months apart and working, but lots of people do and manage perfectly fine. Kids are very adaptable and plenty go to childcare with no negative side affects, so really it's whats right for you and your family.

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Alanna1 · 17/10/2013 20:56

Why have you been made redundant? If you think it has ANYTHING to do with being pregnant /having had a baby go to your CAB NOW. There are time limits.

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