I haven't posted for a long time but a problem has arisen at work and I don't really have any other forums to revert to as the person concerned will see.
I work for a City company and have done for over six years. I have a relative who works for the same firm but in a different department. We don't mix at work much but see each other regularly. She is senior to me and very successful.
Recently though she told me that her boss has been acting weirdly towards her for a long time, for at least four years. He's done (to my knowledge) the following:
- told her that she's beautiful in appraisals, that she should stick with him and she'll go far
- told her not to have children because she won't be made partner if she does
- said that his wife doesn't understand him - but she does
- Insulted her mother in law at her wedding because he was envious
- told her that she shouldn't go for coffee with other colleagues without telling him
- told her that he's in love with her (frequently)
- sits at her PC and reads her emails when she's away from her desk (he sits next to her)
- is abrasive towards her husband
- texts her things like "today is gorgeous but not as gorgeous as you"
- emails her details of his undying love for her (using his company email address!) - she showed me these.
She hasn't reported him for any of this but her PA did report him when he was spotted at her PC recently - she intervened to stop HR getting him into trouble but she was told that he has a track record of doing this and indeed the last subject of his affections left as a result of them.
She is hoping that if she ignores him and laughs off his advances, it will go away - but it's been going on for years. He was apparently meant to retire in May but has opted to stay on for another year.
I think that he's manipulated her into thinking that if she reports this, it will affect her career and her standing in the company.
I know I can't tell her what to do, and she makes out that it doesn't bother her, but I have three main concerns:
- that it might escalate;
- that it IS affecting her; and
- that when he leaves he'll do it again to someone else.
I see this as sexual harassment/stalking. He's using his position to influence a subordinate employee and is living out a fantasy where he is having an affair with this beautiful young woman, and the company seems to be just letting him get on with it.
Just wanted to share it really. I know there's nothing I can do and I'm probably overreacting.