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Ethical dilemmas

Do we meet the OW?

2 replies

allibaba · 01/07/2012 22:43

DH has an old friend who we saw occasionally. Old friend married with DCs.

But a few weeks ago we got a message from Friends wife saying he had been having an affair for 12 months, had moved out of the marital home last year and left them all - she thought we should know as didn't think he'd been in touch to tell us.

Friend has now suddenly resurfaced on FB after a 6 month absence. He has messaged saying lets meet up and by the way did we know after suffering from depression he decided marriage was over with wife, been very diffcult for him etc etc and Could he come visit for the weekend?

Now FB (damn FB!) shows pictures of his new home with OW and him saying how happy he is.

SO apart from the fact that he is clearly a love rat who left his wife and DCs for someone else after wife had had long term illness (now recovering well), what do we do? Do we let him visit, most probably with OW and therefore condone what he has done? Or do we stay out of this and not reply?

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EverybodysSleepyEyed · 01/07/2012 23:05

It doesn't sound like he is really in your life anymore and it doesn't seem like you have much desire for him to be in it again.

He's DH's friend - what is his take on this?

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dillnameddog · 13/07/2012 16:45

I think it is not for you to judge whether he is a love rat or not. For all you know there were difficulties in the marriage that were the fault of both parties. And maybe the friend was depressed because he had been unhappy for years with the wife.

Your DH should decide whether he likes his mate or not. If he does, then he should stay in touch.

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