Hate my job and want to leave, but it's awkward.

[GrumpyOldHorsewoman]

Last summer DH landed a nice job. It meant upping sticks and moving to a different part of the country (again!) so I had to quit my brilliant job to move with him. He is sort of his own boss (he trains racehorses) but his patron and paymaster has the final say in most matters, although DH is largely in charge of what goes on. It was assumed that I would be DH's secretary; I wasn't keen, but appeared to not really have much say in the matter. DH assured me that if I didn't like it, we could arrange something else. Now, six months down the line, I really hate it but DH is saying that if I give up then he will too. He loves what he is doing, although I know he occasionally feels the pressure, and I'm sure he would never give it up, but I can't keep doing the job I'm doing. For starters, the house we moved into was a hovel (it comes with his job) and six months later is still exactly the same because neither of us has time to do anything with it. I am supposed to work 5 mornings, 4 hours a day but find myself in the office on Saturdays, Sundays, weekday afternoons here and there and living on-site is a nightmare, but necessary. The job is boring and could be done by any reasonably competent person. I have been a very specialised racing secretary during my working life, and am used to my jobs being quite specific and specialised in my field (I have worked for some major players) but this is just a pen-pushing job. I get no time away from my desk which makes it impossible to fulfill the role of a trainer's wife adequately (owners expect a degree of hospitality and sociability) and I have been lumbered with the job of dogsbody for all and sundry (down to hoovering the buildings and washing up the stable staff's cups) and find it a little bit demeaning - I am supposed to be the 'boss's' wife, but feel subservient. There is also just too much for a part-timer and I'm struggling to get it all done. I still need to work, because for all DH is doing his dream job, he still only earns an average salary and we would find it hard to manage without my money (even though that in itself is pretty modest, it is necessary) and we live in the arse end of nowhere, so local work will be hard to find. I just can't keep doing this, it has made me very miserable and since moving I have little enough to be happy about, this is making it even worse.

[Earlybird]

Hmmm - could you draft in an eager student looking to earn some extra money to help you with the tedious parts - one who also wants some work experience (that will look good on a cv) for a future job in this sort of profession?

Sorry that is so awkwardly worded, but hope you get my meaning...

[GrumpyOldHorsewoman]

Trouble is, it's all tedious!

I think I need to be replaced by a full-timer. Plus I am fed up with being on-call at any time of day or night because something popped into someone's head, and I am called upon to solve their problem - I have enough of my own!

[Earlybird]

Are there things your special knowledge/experience could do that would benefit your dh and his employer? I mean things you'd enjoy that you don't have time to do because you're knee deep in drudgery? Why not make them a proposal? Then you could help them interview for your replacement...

[GrumpyOldHorsewoman]

Sounds like a good idea...

I do just want to 'get out there' and talk to our owners, find races for specific horses and do what I have spent the past 18 years qualifying to do. My job is barely more challenging than your average office junior, and TBH could be done by someone who had never had anything to do with horses or racing, and I am simply overqualified for this job. What it lacks in quality, though, it certainly makes up for in quantity - there is masses to do but it is so mind numbing. I think I just need to pick my moment.