Can they force me to stay in this job?

[worktrouble]

I have also posted this in legal. I am really hoping somebody might be able to help.

To cut a long story short - when I returned to wok after my 6 month maternity leave my job was taken by another person. While they told me that they will geve it back if I insist it would be much better for the firm and therefore myself, my pay and career prospects if I accepted anothere position.
The new position was better, the problem was that the new boss had just resigned so I accepted on the condition that I have a say in the hiring of a new boss (which was agreed but never put in writing).
Nine months later they hired someone - a great expert in the field but an absolute horror to work with. I was against it and said so in my first interview feedback form but was persuaded to change the recommendation in the second one. I have been doing my best to work with this person since December but it has been an absolute nightmare (it is just me and her on the team).
Finally we had a run in last week and I asked to be transfered to a different position. She is trying to block it and management has an interest in me staying there so they are pushing me to stay. I think I might have a nervous breakdown if I do.

appart from resigning what are my options? Can they force me to stay in that job? If I resign do I have a case for constructive dismissal?

Please, please advice me somebody!

btw I work for a large inv bank

[Weegle]

I'm a bit rusty but I'll try my best. Hopefully someone more up to date with employment law will come along to help.

First, how long is it since you returned from maternity leave? If it has been a while (which your post implies) then by continuing to work there and accept pay I think you have effectively agreed to the new terms and conditions - most notably the changed job. Therefore I think it unlikely you'll have grounds for a complaint there, but certainly could be taken in to account in the bigger picture.

Constructive dismissal is always a difficult one. I think it unlikely at this point it would be worth you resigning and claiming CD as I think your evidence could be construed as weak. What you need to do from here on in is inform your management of your concerns, ask for a meeting to do so. Following this confirm what was discussed with all in writing so a record is kept. say you would prefer a transfer but are willing to consider other solutions they can think of. You need to personally keep a record of what it is that is happening that makes you feel your position is untenable - write down dates and details in case you need to come back to these at a later stage. If nothing is changed following an informal discussion then your next option would be the formal grievance procedure. Unfortunately unless you follow these steps constructive dismissal will prove hard to win because you won't have given your employers a chance to change things for you. Also constructive dismissal rarely means you'll be walking away "breaking even" - if you got a new job for example and left to go to that then you would get nothing as you won't have lost earnings. My experience is CD is threatened far too easily, in reality it can only be enforced under quite limited circumstances.

You need to think carefully, as if it doesn't work your life could become more uncomfortable in the meantime. Not exactly what you want to hear, but unfortunately often true.

What strikes me as odd is - why would she block your request to be transferred if you clearly don't get on?? It doesn't make sense.

Sorry this all seems quite negative, but I'm trying to be realistic. Hopefully by showing your sincerity with how concerned you are will be sufficient for management to change things, I hope so.

[worktrouble]

Thank you weegle, I am greatful for any input really, as I am so confused and stressed out at the moment.
I really do not want to resign, it is an absolute last resort, I have been there for 10 years, have a lot of goodwill and do not want to throw it all away.
I have had informal meetings with her boss and his boss. They promissed to try and resolve the situation but this only resulted with her having a proper go at me afterwards.
She is blocking the move for two reasons: 1) I have a very rare set of qualifications and am very valuable to her (which is also why management wants me to stay) and 2) it is also a power play - if I move to the position I have requested this would weaken her. I don't mind moving to a different position though, as long as I don't stay where I am.

Oh, and it is about 9 months since I returned from maternity leave but I only accepted the change in position under the condition that I have an input in hiring the new boss - and I put a negatiuve recommendation after I interviewed her.

[chocolatekimmy]

Sorry to hear you are so stressed out about this. It sounds as though you would be better staying there, but obviously things need to be sorted out. It also sounds as though you are well qualified and valuable to the company.

If you accepted this current role, did you have confirmation of the new job in writing and did you sign a new contract or agreement or anything? You have clearly accepted the job by way of continuing to carry on working there and doing the job you took.

So you can't really say 'can they force me to stay' as such as you have chosen to do that job in the first place (and when it suited you). I don't think your maternity leave is relevant in this (in fact its nothing to do with it really) now, particularly at this stage.

So, if you have an issue or complaint then you have to go through the proper channels and do a formal grievance. Hopefully you will get a resolution, you need to be able to say what you want out of it. Would
you be happy if she changed her ways? She may not be fully aware of how you feel.

You at least have to give the Company (and ultimately her) the opportunity to resolve things satisfactorily. If you go through the whole process and it still isn't resolved (and you have to be realistic in what you hope to get out of it/achieve) then you could possibly resign and claim constructive dismissal.

For this to stand a chance, you have to demonstrate that the working relationship had become untenable, that working there and the way you were treated was so bad that you could no longer work there, that the implied mutual trust between you and them had completely broken down. If they go through the grievance process as fairly as they can and offer options/solutions then you will have a difficult case if it is just down to you not getting on with one person.

You need to log everything I am afraid to support your case should you need it.

It's a shame that its got to this stage already but you seriously need to address the issues and start the ball rolling - you may be surprised at how well it turns out. Sadly the phrase constructive dismissal always crops up/is considered a good way out but its a minefield and difficult to prove

[worktrouble]

thank you chocolate

The whole resigning business is an absolute last resort, I really do not want to do it. In fact, I turned down a job offer from a different firm only a week before this latest crisis started.

The sad thing is, there is no way that I do not come out a loser from this situation. Since I do not see staying where I am as an option I have 3 possibilities: 1) they move me to the position I have asked - which is good but will put me in conflict with this woman and I am not sure it is worth the stress - she is evil; 2) they move me to another position - which resolves the immediate problem but then I have to start from scratch and build up there what it has taken me a year to achieve here and 3) I resign.

It is of course best if this can be resolved with me staying where I am - I really don't see this working though. I am not a tender flower but was in floods of tears all day Monday. It is just one person - but that one person is my line manager and it is just me and her on the team, so there is no getting away. And, it is all well and good saying I should have spoken to her first but if your child was bullied would you advice them to go and tell the bully "Do you realise that you are not being very nice?".

I am sorry if I sound aggressive, please let me know if I sound totally unreasonable, I am very stressed and I am afraid I may have lost perspective in this.

I have now written down a list of incidents - and none of them are a big deal separetely but put together it just builds up. I duid not intend for it to come down to it, I afeel like I am throwing mud at her, so I just kept saying it was a personality clash. But all I get is - yes, but what exactly happened?

I am just unloading really.

Any help, sympathy or advice highly appreciated.

Or if somebody wants to tell me that I sound totally unreasonable, please feel free to, I would rather know if I sound mad.

[bran]

Do you think the other firm's job offer would still be open? It's not that bad moving to a new company, I'm not all that keen on the first few months myself.

You may find that if you skills are hard to get and take a long time to learn then having another job offer will make your company move a bit more quickly. It's not quite the same, but when I went back to work they turned down my flexible working request, so I went back for 3 months (so I didn't have to pay any money back) and then found another job. Within 24hrs of telling my boss I was about to write my resignation letter his boss phoned me and gave me the flexible working that I wanted.

I think your loyalty to the company and your regard for goodwill is holding you back a bit here. Try to imagine that you are completely self-centered and tell them in simple, non-negotiable terms what it is that you want if you're going to continue to work there.

[edam]

Have been there with the nightmare boss and bosses's boss who says 'yes but what happened' and me saying 'personality clash'. I would strongly recommend you keep a detailed record of all incidents and that you are honest with the senior people (your boss's boss etc.) - give specific examples and show how lots of apparently minor niggles add up to a bigger picture.

Irritatingly for me, shortly after I left due to nightmare boss, she moved on herself.

[worktrouble]

I don't reallly want that other job but I have contacted a few headhunters.

I would hate to have to move though, it is wrong, wrong, wrong!

I am in the right here (I strongly believe) and yet I am the one that loses out.

Your situation was not resolved then, edam? How far did you take it?

[chocolatekimmy]

worktrouble, I didn't suggest that you should have spoken to her first (though that can sometimes help). What I did suggest is that you make the complaint formal and go through the correct channels - you may be surprised with the outcome.

You didn't put a possible option of resolving the issue so that you are happy either. I know you are stressed (i've been there big time with work, with pnd and eventually 4 months off sick ending with a pay off) and its easy to focus on the negatives in this situation but unless you go through the grievance process with view to resolving the bully you won't really progress will you. We are at work for so much of our time, we have to make it as stress free as possible and in doing so take the action we need to.

I;m a bit confused about the current situation - your OP said you have applied for another role to get away, then you say she is trying to block that and lastly that if you move to the job you want it will put you in conflict with her?

[worktrouble]

choc, I would really like to resolve it, I just don't see it happpening - it is me and her on the team. She is the boss. She has been bullying me out of her own insecurity. Now, what are the chances that she will stop if told by HR? Again, if this was happening to one of my kids I would try and separate them from the bully not insist that they go and play nicely with them.
I am going through the proper channels - I had a meeting with her boss. Then I had a meeting with his boss. This only backfired - they spoke to the bully, she then to it out on me.

Re the other position - it is a position in the same area - if I move there I would effectively be competing with her. She is afraid of this, she would much rather have me working for her which is why she is trying to block it. But as I said, I would rather have this resolved completely, i.e. maybe I should go and do something completely different - but this sets me back in my career.

[Judy1234]

Can you think of ways to get on with her? Find out how she would like you to be and be it? Learn to work with her? What about you go out to lunch together to talk things through?

[DominiConnor]

I suspect a little horse trading is in order.
You have a few threats up your sleeve.
It will embarrass her if you transfer, and more so if you leave. Also she'll have the hassle of finding a replacement.

Is it possible that she can modify her behaviour ?
If you sit down with her and talk through her misbehaviour, she might improve.

Since more senior management want you to stay in place, then one option is to have them present at the meeting.
I don't know your precise circumstances, but I would give the new manager two options, to either mend her ways or for a threesome to sort this out.

[worktrouble]

We had lunch on Friday - she told me I had the right to my own opinion but bottom line is - she is the boss and we will do things her way or "it will not work". Up to that point I thought there must be a way to sort this out... I no longer see how though.

I also thin - if she was forced to change by management - what will my next appraisal be like? Is she not just going to take the bullying to a different level? She is a very smart person. But nothing will change the fact that she is terribly insecure and I think her problem is she feels threatened by me.

[bran]

I do think that you hold most of the cards here. I'm sure it goes against your nature to be demanding, from your comments it seems that you are a natural peace-maker, you would rather fix the relationship than just leave, but in this case it might work out better to be more (dare I say it) masculine in your attitude.

You don't need to assign blame, but equally don't euphamise or beat around the bush. Tell whoever the decision maker is (by email if you feel you can't say it) that it isn't a viable working relationship and if they can't find you another, equivalent or better, position within the company in the next month then you will reluctantly accept another job offer.

I really hope everything works out for you, it's horrible to be unhappy at work when you spend such a large proportion of your life there.

[DominiConnor]

I agree with bran, though if I may sound a bit "masculine", the thing about male aggression is that usually it's rarely trigger happy, but instead mostly posturing.
It's mostly dominance dances.
("yo lookin' at me?") style of fing.

Personally, I'd play on her insecurity. Talk behind her back to bosses, and make veiled comments about it a bit more often than necessary.
First issue to undermine her is the appraisal you mention. Senior bosses need to understand that if your appraisal is going to be crap then you might as well leave now.
It's important in this not to accept "we'll keep a eye on this, don't worry", which is of course one of the standard lies used by any Say that you want your manager.
I'd ask for a written commitment that your appraisal will be carried out by another neutral manager. It's important that you use the word "netural", and that your boss sees this, and "agrees". By "agree" I mean humiliating her.

But ultimately, what you need to do is get your CV up to date.

[bran]

Hmm, I'm not sure that I would go down the route of undermining your boss necessarily, and I don't think that worktrouble would be happy to be that kind of person. But agree with DC (gasp) that male agression is mostly posturing. The investment banking world is very masculine in it's attitude.

In a female environment trying hard to sort out working relationships and making concesssions is regarded favourably and will be remembered and rewarded in the future. Whereas in a very masculine environment compromising and trying to sort things out is seen as weak, it's what people do if they have no other option. You are in a strong position because your skills are rare, a man in your position would say "I don't want to go through any faffing about, give me a new position or I'll take my skills to another company". I expect you see it all the time where you are that the outspoken, demanding ones get what they want and the self-effacing get ignored. Try not to be emotional and don't justify or explain, just state what you want to happen and within what timescale. And be prepared to follow through on your threat to leave if necessary, for instance if they offer you a position that you don't want, say so straight away to give them a chance to offer you something better and if they don't then leave.

If your boss ends up doing your appraisal and you don't like what she says then refuse to sign it, get angry not upset, and kick up a huge fuss.

[worktrouble]

Thank you bran, I think you are talking sense.

I will meet some headhunters tomorrow and see what the situation is. I so hope this is sorted out though, but I really don't see how. I had it very good here, know everyone, am respected, work decent hours (for an investment bank) and just got promoted. It is such a shame to have to throw all this away.

My bosses boss has been avoiding me all day today, which is not a good sign...

[DominiConnor]

bran alludes to the point that I'm as pimp in the City, and yes masculine style controlled aggression has it's uses there. But I've worked in publishing as well, and that's where I learned the most vicious office politics the hard way. My last job was with a gang of barrow boy brokers, and they had nothing on the publishing women.
So I think that yes, attack is necessary here. When I give careers advice, typically it's very bridge building because I'm countering male tendency to posture. Women go too much the other way.
But in this situation from the little knowledge I have, attack is the only form of defence.
Worktrouble has a good reputation and relatively strong position. It's rational to assume new boss is screwing with it, and even if she's not, being unhappy reduces both your effectiveness and how effective people perceive you to be. Short version,the longer you leave it the worse it will be.

I work in a tiny niche in the City, (maths for derivatives), so it's unlikely that Worktrouble is in my area. If she wants an informal chat with a headhunter with no axe to grind, I'm Dominic at PaulDominic dot com.

[bran]

How's it going worktrouble?