Urgent advice needed - bullying at work

[Cashncarry]

Sorry - it will be long but desperate for some advice for DH from anybody with experience dealing with of bullying/harassment at work.

Has worked as a sales advisor for same company for nearly two years. About six months ago was asked to deputise as team manager for his boss during annual leave. He ran up against a junior manager (not in team but attached as kind of "customer service" type person) who obviously felt she should be running show. Kept things civil but obviously got up her nose a bit.

A month later, received customer complaint (complaints routed via junior mgr - let's call her "A"). DH asked for written details so he could appeal - took about 3 weeks to get to him. Appealed within 5 days, decision took three months - complaint upheld.

In the meantime, he's been penalised salary wise and now makes less per sales unit despite still achieving same level of sales. Appeal decision came thru 2 wks ago (3 months after complaint). A asked for a review mtg on Monday - DH now has 2 wk period where he must not incur another complaint or further disciplinary action will be taken. DH asked to take review form away (headed "Informal counselling session"), noted couple of concerns (delay since complaint etc.). A now saying another meeting needed Friday as he hasn't signed the form just his attached sheet - A saying that she, his line manager and DH need to all sign form at same time.

Line manager saying DH is overreacting. DH v upset - feels bullied and harrassed. I have been telling him to comply with process and we will raise grievance after but now don't know what to tell him. Should he go to this mtg? Should he sign the form? Can they force him?

Am actually very upset on DH's behalf - woman is EVIL and would like to tell DH to smack her in the chops but would appreciate some more constructive advice....

Thanks in advance to anyone who actually managed to read this (apologies for typos, nonsense as I'm actually shaking as I type as I'm so upset [

[PocketTasha]

cashncarry

I don't really have much constructive advice... Other than has he asked to speak to his line manager officially about this woman? Maybe his manager isn't clear on how your dh actually feels. Was this complaint a legitimate one? Or does it seem manufactured? I guess it really depends on how much you think this woman is capable of. I hope someone else has some better advice you. good luck.

[Cashncarry]

Thanks PT - He has told his line manager he feels bullied - he's been told he's overreacting. He's also asked for written confirmation of the procedure which has been followed since the time of the complaint - none exists . He's asked how many more review meetings and salary deductions he will have to undergo as a result of this complaint - the answer "How long is a piece of string?"

He didn't agree with the customer's complaint as he appealed but the complaint was more to do with the company's policy and the fact that they raised their prices directly after the contract was signed. He did change his practices as a result of the complaint and feels he's been penalised enough now. He just wants it to stop so he can get on with his job.

Sorry if I'm babbling on but I'm just so - I've sent him off to the CAB this pm for some advice about Friday's mtg. I'm grateful for any advice received PT so thanks so much for posting

[Bellie]

Oh cashncarry, how awful for your dh.
Not sure what to do about Fri - as not sure on policy etc, but I would advise that your dh makes a log of every time he has contact with the evil woman so that he has notes and details if required in the future.
He should be able to take a work colleague with him to the meeting as a witness or failing that is there a union rep he can talk to/take with him?
HTH

[clerkKent]

DH should go to the meeting. If the form is a factual account of the meeting he should sign it. If not, he should ask for appropriate changes. A two week period without a complaint does not sound excessive, but I do not know the environment.

If there is an HR deparment it would be worth talking to the appropriate HR Advisor to check on the correct procedure and to raise concerns about the bully.

[Cashncarry]

Hi Bellie and clerkkent. We are both erring on the side that he should attend the mtg and possibly sign the form just to get her off his case. Clerkkent - he doesn't think a 2 wk review period is excessive either - just not four months after the original complaint when he's had no complaints in the intervening period!

He thinks the form is misleading and either way there was no space for his comments which is why he attached a separate sheet and signed that instead. I just baulk at him signing a form which he doesn't agree with and which could possibly be construed as him agreeing with the whole thing.

I'm starting to think he should just sign the bloody thing and hand his notice in

[clerkKent]

Don't resign without a lot of thought first, and ideally not without a job to go to.

Having said that, I consistently tell people that the best way to handle a bully is to remove yourself from the situation - whatever it takes.

[fairyjay]

Could he sign the form, and write alongside his signature 'to be read in conjunction with attached notes'?

Sorry you're going thru' this.

[Cashncarry]

Hi Clerkkent - have agreed with the non-confrontational approach thus far and advised DH to keep out of her way. However, it does feel like she's hounding him now. He taped his meeting on Monday and when I listened I just wanted to cry. She kept saying really slowly "Do you understand?" (DH is foreign but has an MBA FGS).

Until I heard the tape I thought he had a chip on his shoulder but her whole attitude was really patronising and offensive. She actually questioned him on what his grievance was about, who he was going to see, whether he was seeing a union rep or someone outside the company. I'm sure she's not allowed to question him that way. To his credit, he answered her questions without actually giving any info away and avoided getting huffy but how long is this going to go on for??

Okay I sound a bit hysterical now (!) so I'll go and cool down. Thanks Fairyjay - we were actually thinking of putting that but now the guy from the CAB says he doesn't think he should sign the form [confused emoticon]....

[BB74]

I just thought i'd give you my advice as i've been a manager for about 10 years (we're not all that bad!!)...it's a bit difficult when you don't know the whole siuation, but if he has a union rep i would suggests he speaks to them and ask them to attend the meeting him with him. if there is no rep available on fri he should ask for the meeting to be postponed. also speak to HR to find out if they have an anti-bully policy and what the procedure is for reporting this. Don't let them get away with it, your partner is worth more than that. if all else fails you could speak to an employment solicitor for advice. let me know how it goes.....

[Cashncarry]

Hi BB74 - don't worry I realise not all managers are monsters. My boss is lovely!

Thanks for your suggestions - DH did ring two unions but they both said he had to be a paid up member for more than 12 weeks before someone could even give him advice let alone accompany him to the meeting.

He rang HR and asked if he could talk to someone about anti-bullying and was told that he couldn't as they were on the manager's side (WTF?!).

I appreciate that it's difficult to give advice in this sort of scenario - after all DH could be a raving maniac for all you know! He really isn't - he works very hard - 6 sometimes 7 days a week and because his pay is performance related, he takes home quite a good wage. He doesn't exactly love his job but he does try to be a good employee - his boss obviously thinks he's ok as he deputises in his absence!

I'm just at a bit of a loss as to how to help him. He's now decided that he's not going to sign the form (he rang a couple of other organisations for advice) so I guess I'll post again on Friday when the sh*t hits the fan. Somehow I don't think this lady's going to let this go....

[BB74]

From the sounds of it he doesn't work for a very good company, so he may be better off just getting this sorted, bide his time and look for something else. I work for a great company and it amazes me sometimes how some companies think that they can get away with treating their employees like crap, when your hubby obviously puts alot of time, effort and pride into his job. I wish I could offer him a job!!

[smittenkitten]

obviously complicated and we don't know hte details, but what is company policy on reducing pay? If there are standard incentives for sales made under which policy have they reduced it for him? if they have an explicit arrangement about commission per sale and don't have one about reducing it by X% in the event of a complaint, then your husband may have a case for constructive dismissal (though you'd obviously need more advice). don't know what the employment situation is where you live, but good sales people are hard to find so suggest he looks for something else and claims when he leaves.

[helenhismadwife]

hi cashncarry

what an awful situation for you both. I would suggest you talk to ACAS they are fantastic and can give your dh advice and support and may even be able to attend

[helenhismadwife]

bloody computer!!

was going to say they may be able to go to any future meetings with him.

they have a good website and also phone helpline

www.acas.org.uk/

the phone number is on there

hope it helps

[Cashncarry]

Hi BB74, smitten kitten & helenhismadwife (!)

Thanks for your all your kind words. Feeling a lot calmer about the whole thing now. DH did attend the meeting and despite the evil cow (!) and his line manager putting immense pressure on him, he did only sign his attached notes and not the form itself. She actually had the gall to reassure him that the form would not be read without his note whilst unstapling his note from the form!!

Anyway, he's just about to post his letter of grievance with his objection to the financial deductions and the general conduct of the manager concerned. We're not actually expecting them to do anything about it - salespeople at his level are generally treated like sh*t by the company and the public but at least he's stood up for himself.

In the meantime, his old boss has called him and wants to see him tomorrow about a possible mgmt position. I'm trying not to get too excited because I don't want to get his hopes up but fingers crossed. He may be a bit of a wally sometimes (!) but he's a good guy and deserves a break.

I just want to say thank you to everyone who spoke to me and gave me advice. I'm not very proficient at this whole MN thing so don't "chat" an awful lot but a couple of times when I've really needed help, I've struck gold in here so thanks guys xx