Bullied at work - toothless bullying policy

[Morven11]

Foul situation at work. A colleague, who has shown her disdain for me over some months now (based on what, I know not), let rip today. I simply asked her to be a little quiet (she was talking loudly in the office) as I was trying to listen to a phone message and that was red rag to a bull.

Upshot was that she started name calling - calling me a 'putulent child', and worse. I tried to ask her why she was saying these things and she stormed out. (I spoke to another colleague (there were no witnesses to that incident) who said that she'd been subjected to a tyrade from this person a few weeks ago and advised me simply to ignore.)

Said colleague ignored me the rest of the day and left without a word - we were last in the office. There is no-one, no-one to go to for advice, support etc in this place (large institution though it be). Line manager is out of it and is leaving soon. New line manager very pally with said colleague and HR, well HR has been quite nice to me in the past when I've wanted to talk to someone about the difficulties in the office (the dynamics have been very difficult for a long time) but they can't do a lot.

I'd like to deal with this without making a formal complaint against this person (could turn very nasty). Though as she's so unpredictable and can be so very nasty, feel that I should have what happened today recorded if only, as DH has advised, because she might try 'to get in first'.

The organisation's bullying policy has no teeth, as the union often says and I think they're right. Because of that, and because of the culture in the place, I feel I have little recourse but to put up and shut up but, at the same time, I'm deeply unhappy. I work in a confined space, sit next to this person and am dreading what tomorrow may bring.

Of course I'm looking for a way out - am applying for another post within the organisation but though I stand a chance, will be up against stiff competition.

Any thoughts on tactics, on coping, on where to go from here? Thanks.

[flagnogbagnog]

Im so sorry you are having to work with this on a daily basis. A few years ago DH was bullied at work and it had a huge impact on his mental health.

I'm not an expert at all, but what I would suggest is that you keep a detailed diary of all events. Keep any evidence, emails etc. also record anyone who witnesses the behaviour.

For what it's worth, I would report it to HR. Even if it's just that they have a record of it.

[CookieDoughKid]

Agree to the above. However I wouldn't stand tolerate any further abuse. If it happens again, make a record of it.

Go into work, act as sunny as possible. Fake it all the way and concentrate on getting out of there as fast as possible.

[GetYourFingersOutOfThere]

Write an email detailing everything that happened, keep it factual and without any personal attack and then save it in draft. If she tries to get in before you you will have a dated document of your take on events.

[JimmyCorkhill]

This is interesting.

[JimmyCorkhill]

Oh, I got the book and the tactics (I can remember) to use were: get away from his type of person if possible! Don't challenge them as they will get worse/seek revenge/find allies to make your life hell. Offer them a 'get out' solution so they can back down without losing face. Basically, you can't deal with people like this in the normal assertive way. It's not you, its her.

[Cleanthatroomnow]

Sadly, you are right in that management never do have "teeth" and it will be left up to you to build a case against the bully. Then...you become the problem, not her. Not fair, I know, but that's what happens. Walk away if you can.