Please read the job description ...

[2014ThisIsMyYear]

... before you bung in a generic application!!

I have spent 2 days reviewing over 100 applications for 1 job. We specified about 10 'essential' criteria which were listed in order of importance. Many applicants do not meet the top 3, but this sometimes doesn't become clear until we have read their online application plus a 3-page CV. Twice, in case we missed it first time round.

No matter how desperate you are, or how irresistible you are in the flesh, please read job descriptions carefully, and answer each point in turn. Sure, it's a pain and it takes time, but it could change your life.

Some other tips:

• Correct spelling matters. Especially when it's the name of your school/your town/our company.
  
• Simple grammar helps, eg start your name with a capital letter.
  
• Paragraphs or bullet points would be nice.
  
  It's not rocket science ... just explain how you meet each 'essential' requirement in turn and you are ahead of most applicants

[PedantMarina]

Hier hier!

Juuuussst kidding (sorry, can't resist a typo pun this late in the evening after a whole bottle of wine)

[tracypenisbeaker]

Put it this way, if someone doesn't have the good sense to capitalise the first letter in their own name and needs a reminder such as yours, then there is probably no hope for them is there?

[Blankiefan]

And lose the 7 page CVs! Unless you're very senior, 2 pages max....even if you have 40 years of experience. Summarise professionally, as you will have to when you get the job.

Although to be fair, with the number of applications for every job, I've found I'm looking for reasons to quickly fill my "no" pile. Irrelevancy, poor spelling, grammar, etc are good reasons to bin your cv...

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

If you are applying for a job, open a generic hotmail etc account. So [email protected].

Please do not make me reply to Fluffybunnykinsxxx or most memorably [email protected].


Generic email. Takes 30 seconds.

[annieorangutan]

• Dont writevin the work experience box 2008-2010 Odd jobs for a mate unless you want to sound like a drug dealer

• Dont start the job and then ring in an hour before you pulled someone last night and you cant naje it in as you dont have appropriate shoes

[DameDeepRedBetty]

Another yy here... even for a semi-skilled job, we received over a hundred and fifty applications. I had to filter them somehow. Since being able to read complex instructions was part of it, we decided to loose all the glaring spelling errors. And before anyone has a go at us for discriminating against dyslexics etc, common sense and an ability to act on your own initiative were also going to be needed, so I'd expect a person with writing difficulties to have had the forethought to get help to check their letter and CV before posting it.

[ARightOldPickle]

And another yes!
I particularly like the applications which are littered with errors - while in their personal statement they boast about 'paying attention to detail' Needless to say, they don't make it to the yes pile!

[LadybirdsAreFab]

Don't write your CV in text speak, not clever and not funny. Goes straight in the bin.

[LovingKent]

Ensure you are qualified for the role you are applying for (once had a doctor apply for a role as a speech and language therapist)
Ensure you get the company name right (over the years have had incorrect spellings as well as most memorably someone stating how pleased they would be to work for X which wasn't actually us!

[WaitingForMe]

Don't put "I am suspicious of giraffes."

Yes someone actually did when applying to work for me.

[WoodBurnerBabe]

Don't lie about your qualifications. Degrees are very very easy to check, universities do NOT like people claiming to have graduated from them if you haven't...

[headlesslambrini]

I hope no-one would mind if I use some of these with the teenagers I work with.

[furrymuff]

I get the same person applying for any admin job I short list for. They submit the same application each time which has the memorable line of "I like both boy babies and girl babies" - I have no idea why this is relevant but it makes me laugh every time!

[FrontForward]

My favourites: (for a healthcare role). I'm used to locking people up as I've worked in a detention centre and I'm a postman so can do anything

[cookiewoo]

I once shortlisted an application that stated 'I enjoy doing shit work'. She was applying for a role requiring 'shift' work.

[VodkaRevelation]

Dame, I love that in your sentence about glaring spelling errors you used 'loose' instead of 'lose'!

[FutureDreamer]

vodka [Grin]

[FutureDreamer]

even

[DameDeepRedBetty]

good thing I'm not applying for jobs today, just rampaging over MN!

To be serious, 'loose' and 'lose' are the sort that do slip through easily as spell checkers often don't pick them up. I wouldn't have binned a CV for that level of error, not for the jobs I was thinking about when I first posted on this thread.

[ashInTheAttic]

Absolutely! My sister is dyslexic, so she hands her CVs over to me for proof reading before they get sent off..

[Redcliff]

My favorite e-mail address on a job application was "stoned.all.the.time"

I spent all of yesterday short listing - 230 applications for 3 jobs. Getting it down to 12 almost cost me my will to live.

[CrystalSkull]

My favourite LinkedIn profile (for all the wrong reasons) belongs to an Oxbridge-educated writer and proofreader who boasts of:

'Attention to detail that borders on fantacism.'

You couldn't make it up!

[Hoppinggreen]

I would sooo have to interview the giraffe a phobe!!!

[BlueHairedFreak]

Oh yes, to all of these. I had an application today from someone who had deleted chunks of a form because she didn't know how to insert a tick into a table in MS Word. She was applying for an admin position.
But my favourite is the person who applied for a qualified and professional role with their supporting statement of a Whitney Houston lyric.

[2014ThisIsMyYear]

Thank you all for sharing, seems there's a lot of frustrated recruiters around.

I did laugh at the giraffe one.

headless - please do pass my views on to teenagers, it's time someone did!

crystal - anyone who claims proof reading skills is just setting themselves up to be caught out, IMHO. And yes, there were a couple among my batch!

Redcliff - I feel your pain .... 230?!