For the past few months, the relationship between my boss and myself has (in my opinion) been deteriorating. I haven't said or done anything about this - I know that I should have, but it was easier in many ways not to.
I know that my behaviour hasn't been great - I snap at him, and react badly. I can feel myself getting really angry, and can't quite put my finger on why, other than I feel his tone of voice and language is patronising, he asks the same question several ways, and is actually quite rude to me.
An example - he asked in a meeting today whether the new stats I'm doing will be done on Monday. Yes.
Are there any extra bits that are specifically done weekly rather than daily?. Yes, and that's fine.
Do I know whether the weekly bits will be done. Yes, my team do them over the weekend, and they will be ready for Monday.
Can you collate them on Monday? Yes, the team will do them, as I said, and it's not problem.
Can you handle the extra work on Monday morning? Yes, as I've said already, it is fine. The team do it, it will be ready, and I am fine with it. (I may have rolled my eyes at this point).
And then I get told off for rolling my eyes.
I don't know how many times I can answer the same question - the stats will be done, the weekend doesn't make a difference, the team do them over the weekend, and Monday will be fine.
I got pulled up over this in a one to one meeting. I know that I shouldn't have rolled my eyes, and told him in an impatient tone that it would be fine. But really?
This is repeated in many small ways, over and over again.
I find it so hard. I'm now being put on a personal improvement plan, which I don't have an issue with in principle. But when I said that I know I'm reacting badly, but I do feel that he's patronising me, and I react to that, he said that he won't change his style of communicating with me.
So I just have to suck it up and deal with it? I have to change, and he won't.
Reading this, I'm aware that I'm sounding like a petulant teenager, but I'm actually in my forties, work hard, and have never had a problem like this before.
We've worked together for the past 4 years, but it's escalated in the past 6 months to the point that I dread going to work, he made me cry in today's meeting (and I NEVER cry), and I have no idea how to get past this and regain our working relationship.
Sorry, this is long and rambling and I have no idea what I actually want to get out of it, but I needed to get it out somewhere.
I have been told that I can talk to our HR dept (but they're all being made redundant next Friday), or his line manager (who is very rarely in the office).
Somebody slap me with a wet kipper please, tell me to pull my socks up and just fucking grow a pair and deal with it......
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My behaviour at work is unacceptable ( I agree), but my boss has told me he won't change
9 replies
pinktransit · 23/10/2013 20:54
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