Boss should not be bitching about her employees, surely?!

[schoolrunner2000]

Hi all

I've been back at work for a year now and noticed right from the start something weird about my current manager - I've never come across this with any of my previous managers. She basically seems to be playing a weird kind of backstabbing game among me and my co-workers to undermine those who she doesn't like, or have annoyed her in some way.

From practically my first day I've overheard her talk very insultingly of nearly every colleague who works in our department, and she doesn't just bitch to her PA but also to most of the other staff, including myself. That obviously puts us in an awkward situation and I never know what to say - quite often she has ranted about colleagues who I am friendly with and respect, but she dismisses any attempt I give to defend them, and even suggests I'm weak for not joining in with the negative comments.

I've built up a few friendships with colleagues now and so predictably it's recently got back to me the comments the manager has previously made to them about me. I do my job well so it's mainly petty things that seem to have wound her up hugely and been bitched about to others, and things I remember her making digs at me in the past, such as having a cluttered office (it also doubles up as a storeroom) and bringing in clients with colds which they then pass onto her (?!) which might sound like jokes but she has been really very angry over such things before, and they have led to nonsensical arguments.

The weird thing is she's not a micromanager, she pretty much leaves everyone to their own devices (not a good thing for my role, as I have to consult with her often which in turn irritates her, and others take advantage to slack off) but it does mean that when things go haywire, all she seems to do is bitch about it behind the colleague's back until things blow up, and that creates a real lack of morale and demotivates several team members hugely, and causes rifts among loyalty groups. The general consensus (certainly among those who have been there a long time) seems to be "don't change or say anything or use your initiative, lest you get noticed by the boss!"

The point is I want to change things and progress but feel blocked by her constant state of emotions. Sorry for the rant...just hoping someone could shed some light what seems to me a very weird and ineffective style of managing :\

[bunchofposy]

It sounds really unpleasant and unprofessional (of her) to me. Could you take notes on the things she says, that you can then analyse, in order to try and spot a pattern? I think it would be worth raising with someone more senior than her if you can do this, and have strong evidence to indicate concerning behaviour and how it is affecting others. I am not an expert but it seems like a form of bullying to me. She sounds awful to work for.

[Adreena]

My boss is exactly like this and then some! It creates a very toxic environment. Unfortunately no one has ever reported the behaviour (she likes to remind everyone how lucky they are to have jobs) and it feels like it's become "accepted" in our office. My advice would be to start logging incidents with dates, times etc. then speak to someone in HR for advice.

Good luck!