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I have really messed this up

5 replies

worriedsicknow · 05/12/2012 19:40

Have nc'ed as have previously revealed details which would out me.

I know there are a few threads on this at the moment so apologies.

I have resigned in the heat of the moment via email. My employer is just asking way too much of me. I have a job description but it does not mention 90% of my role in fact it says that I am responsible for one out of three things and am dedicated to that but turns out it is two. I had no idea when I accepted a few months ago and it is not something I would have wanted to do.

I am doing it though but lost it yesterday as I felt completely let down - the team I have are very very junior and if it could go wrong it did go spectacularly wrong. I was under inordinate stress and pressure and am working 13-14 hour days despite my psychiatrist saying I have to only work core hours. He also says I need to have time off to go to therapy but for the next three weeks I am unable to take the time off.

I feel like I am being set up to fail and whilst I am happy to do more than my job spec I am not doing any of it.

They have accepted resignation so am now stupidly unemployed.

Do I have any right to raise a grievance? Feel like I have been discriminated against for not being 100% well and asked to go over and above what I signed up for. Some inappropriate things have been said to me (I was an HR manager for a brief time but cannot see the wood for the trees at the moment) but don't want to out myself.

God this is a nightmare and all my fault as acted in height of moment after 4 hours sleep the night before. Sad

OP posts:
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dietstartsmonday · 05/12/2012 19:55

What sort of things have been said? How long have you been there?

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elfycat · 05/12/2012 20:02

Do you want the job back?

If not I'd contact HR and make your reasons for leaving clear and suggest that you've been set up to fail and will be taking it further. Start a grievance, do you have a union or other representation?

Do you have grounds for constructive dismissal with regards work load/ support / your illness?

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MustafaCake · 05/12/2012 20:02

You do have the right to raise a grievance but you need to think carefully about your points of grievance and what you want the outcome to be. Do you really want this job back? Regardless of your health issues, it does not sound like you enjoy the role (stress, pressure, team problems) so maybe it is best to leave and find something you really want to do.

If you really want your job back you probably need to meet with your manager ASAP and explain that it was a heat of the moment decision because of X and that you want your job back. S/he is under no obligation to accept it though unless there is some policy that states you have x amount of time to change your mind- I have seen this written in some company policies.

I would strongly advise you to get well and then find another role.

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worriedsicknow · 05/12/2012 22:37

Thanks all. Only been there a few months. Love my team but not my manager. We just clash. She has said I am disruptive to the team as I worked from home a couple of days last week as was sick but only as a result of getting home at 11pm on Monday. She says I blame others when things go wrong but that is not true - I just try and help pick up the pieces and talk about the learnings. She tried to get me to go home one night at about 8pm but I was running an event and wanted to see it through to the end - she said I was really aggressive with her when reality was she had been drinking. She tells me I need to take the blame when everything goes wrong and ale ownership which I do but some things are completely outside my control. She changes the goalposts all the time. She is invasive and tries to tell me how I should use my therapy. She makes me pick up stuff for other people and they get away with doing very little. She is also not an expert in what I do and often disagrees when I try and do things best practice rather than the way she thinks they should be done. She has made me cry so many times and I never breakdown. She says that I am only there to get the free health insurance. My best friend was seriously ill in hospital and and she said she did not believe me. The list goes on.

Have also not been able to take any holiday in 6 months as workload has been such that there has been no opportunity not even for a day.

I love the role (most of the time), have the best colleagues ever and love the company but it is not going to work.

No union.

I need to sleep on it and see how I feel in a few days.

OP posts:
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flowerytaleofNewYork · 06/12/2012 10:41

I agree you need to decide what you actually want to achieve by raising a grievance. You wouldn't have any kind of constructive dismissal claim or anything as you've not been there long enough.

Tbh it just sounds like a pretty horrendous workplace and an awful boss, so you're best off out of there really, and I would think very hard about what a grievance would achieve, unless there are higher management who need to be aware of what's going on and you'd like to make sure they are.

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