I work in an organisation of about 100 employees. In my role I have autonomy, direct reporting to CEO. Most other staff are in teams. In geographical terms I have my own office on a floor with several teams with whom I have varying levels of contact.
A few months ago a new admin worker started. He has regular contact with everyone on our site. He is a new immigrant and English is his 2nd language. Apparently he worked at a higher status role in his home country but took this job as a way into the workforce here. He has a good work ethic and is keen to impress.
Initially it was just smiley hellos and how are you, but before I knew it he was bringing me coffee, trying to carry my bag for me, leaving gifts on my desk etc. Way over the top. I discouraged him by saying thank you but not neccessary, we do things for ourselves here etc. I excused a lot of it by assuming a cultural difference.
But he persisted. One day I counted the number of times he came into my office on the pretext of work. 12. And leaning over me or crouching down beside me, way too close.
By now you are probably wondering why I didn't just report him. Me too. I don't really know. It felt too hard. I have had a lot on my mind at home and work, and just kept rebuffing him.
Last week I raised concerns about his work (not behaviour) with GM. I knew his line manager had tried to raise same concerns but had not been heard. GM came in, line manager reported complaints about him stroking hair, rubbing backs etc and also flagged her on a complaint about his inappropriate behaviour that had been raised by another colleague. Stroking hair, rubbing backs etc.
They asked him into meeting, I'm told he was advised him on appropriate behaviour and also the work issues. He asked for me to be brought into meeting so in I went.
He was extremely emotional - angry then tearful, then pleading for me to be his friend, (please give me 5 mins a day during your break) then lofty (You are highly educated and have v high standards, I will endeavour to meet them.)
It was hideous. I responded with this is awkward, I can see you are shocked and hurt, but you need to know about these problems so we can resolve them.
After a fairly drawn out discussion he agreed to various quality control checks with regard to his role.
While I am relieved that his line manager and the GM are dealing with it, but I don't feel too good about being at work any more.
I am struggling to understand what I am actually dealing with. I feel like he is a bit mad and is obsessed with me. I also feel as though I have become a bit obsessed with him because I am constantly trying to avoid him and dreading him coming into my office. I hate this. I want to get on with my work then go home and look after my children. I don't want this crazy man in my head.
What do I do from here? Do I just keep going into work and flagging the GM of any problems? I hate being central to this.
Oh and his wife works at the same site, different team and is absolutely no problem. A very quiet, unassuming person.
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Harrassed by colleague, unsure how to protect myself
19 replies
imaginethat · 01/12/2012 09:04
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