I've namechanged, as I know people here and don't want to out myself. For that reason I also can't say what kind of business it is, as it is a very small world.
Actually, I don't completely hate my job. I am not sure I am suited to it any longer, and I hate quite a lot of my colleagues. The operations manager - who is a peer, not my line manager - yesterday described my suggestions (which were derived from my having an informed senior strategy role elsewhere in the organisation, where an organisation-wide policy was developed with my help...) as 'hysterical'. He's a twat and I can't bear not being taken seriously.
I have just put in three years of very hard, strategic work on something that has just had demonstrable results and may well have saved my colleagues' jobs. On a day to day level, I have to work with people who take the piss, are incompetent, who treat me like an idiot. Despite not being a manager, I have made every effort to improve team relations, bent over backwards to support colleagues and enable junior staff, yet I have come to the conclusion that this is a bunch of people I can no longer work with. I am very good at 80% of my job, and good enough in the remaining 20%
I am meeting (with the support of my line manager) with someone at the executive level tomorrow to ask if I can be seconded or moved into a more strategic role, but it is unlikely to be permanent.
I can't afford to leave and have no job; I have skills that don't transfer well into other industries - or perhaps at least I don't have the confidence to transfer them. I am rapidly becoming depressed about it and more and more immobilised. I know lots of this is loss of confidence but I don't feel employable anywhere else, and the climate is not exactly ripe for random career-changers, is it?
The usual answer is 'what do you like doing?' 'what are you good at?' etc. The thing is, I am good at my job, at looking after my family and there's very little else. I can't afford to retrain from scratch. I can't afford to pay coaches and go on really expensive course, although I would - if someone knew of one - consider something like that if it was right.
Sometimes I think I just need a weekend away completely on my own, to work things out.
Argh.
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I HATE MY JOB!
HateMyJob · 18/09/2012 12:52
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