Which care home?

[Esmereldada]

Is there a site on the net where I can read candid reviews of care homes?

My Mum has been in two (she left the first as now needed a nursing home). The first, found through personal recommendation and asking a GP, was absolutely outstanding. The second, found via the same route, bloody terrible.

Just trusting what I see when I visit and what they tell me they do feels such a woolly way of choosing.

I would be so grateful for any pointers. X

[twentyten]

www.cqc.org.uk gives reviews but may not tell you everything.
Does your county council offer an advice line? It is so hard- visiting seems the only way- age uk offer checklists which may help. For you.

[Esmereldada]

Thanks for responding Twentyten x

Have used facebook to ask for recs but not much luck yet.

It occurred to me that District Nurses who regularly visit might be a good source of info so I'm trying to find some via friends.

Amazing that when I book two weeks in Spain I can trawl through hundreds of candid reviews yet for this I have to rely on first impressions and gut feeling.

[twentyten]

Good luck-shocking isn't it?

[Needmoresleep]

Professionals working in the area wont be allowed to give you any advice. The best you might hope for could be suggestions of homes you might look at.

You might get a better response from other parts of the community. In our case the priest, who regularly visits different forms of care provision, has been really helpful. The best thing there is that he knows my mother and, say, agrees with me that a 24 hour carer will not be an option. When making a decision, I had to call out a British Gas boiler engineer, who, as it turned out, did a lot of work at my mums very sheltered housing and who was able to reassure me that the staff were great and residents seemed happy. Chiropodist, domiciliary optician, etc. When my mother was in hospital and we needed to find convalescent care, I even got the estate agent, who presumably wanted the sale of my mother's flat, to ask around. He was very kind and came up with a good list of options. I assume he and his colleagues are used to houses being put onto the market when people more into care homes.

That said I don't think the next stage will be easy. I dont know how far off it is: a year or maybe two or three, and whether the move can be planned or whether it will forced on us through a crisis. I plan to spend a few weeks this summer near my mother and use the time to have a good look at dementia options so I am prepared when the time comes.

[makati]

I have just been through this with my Mum. No professional (GP, SS etc) seems able to recommend anywhere and the CQC website definitely only gives half the story.
The county I live in produces a book listing all the residential and nursing homes. I sat down with it and picked those that looked most suitable in terms of dementia care/support and location. I visited them all and made notes after each visit.
One stood out, although it was further away than I would have liked. Luckily, it turns out that we went for the best there is. My Mum has lived there since April last year; first in the residential part and since Feb in the secure dementia unit. She is as happy as she could be to my mind and so far so good.
I would definitely ask people for their recommendations and visit those you like the look of. Good luck as it's rather soul destroying, but you will know when you find the right place.

[Universal]

If there are any nurses who work in care of the elderly on here they may be able to tell you who does a good job when patients come into hospital. The same with district nurses. Ignore CQC.
Where about in the country are you? Is your mum self funded?

[Lilymaid]

DH has gone through all this recently. The best advice he received was from someone who has been Chief Executive of major care homes groups. His advice was to never to go to a new home because the staff will not be fully trained/experienced. DH went for one where the care was good though the home wasn't as smart as the new homes.

[Universal]

Turn up unannounced a few times to see how things are run when they are not expecting visitors. Sit yourself in the main entrance and see how the staff interact with patients.

[Universal]

Sorry I meant residents (still got work on my mind!)

[Esmereldada]

Thank you all so much for your suggestions and advice. I do so appreciate that you've taken the time to post xx

Asking virtually everyone I know, and getting family members, friends and clients to do the same, is beginning to work. DH even posted on local football team forum!

The same names (either good or bad) are beginning to emerge. Funnily enough, Council run homes seem well liked by nurses and relatives alike.

I'm in the Portsmouth area. I won't publicly name and shame the crapola home Mums in because we're all British and that's just not cricket (ffs). Happy to answer pm about it of courseX.

What I can say though is that Her last home was called Whitehaven and was absolutely perfect in every way. X

[Universal]

Have a look if there are any of the national not for profit / charitable status ones locally. Anchor Homes, Hanover and Housing21 are a good place to start.

[Esmereldada]

Hadnt thought of that Universal. Thank you - and for your suggestions above which are v helpful x

[NCISaddict]

I wish we were allowed to give recommendations because, working on an emergency ambulance, we turn up at odd hours of the day or night and see homes as they really are.
I do sometimes break the rules and shake my head in a meaningful fashion if I hear a relative suggesting one of our particularly bad care homes as one they are thinking of for their Mum or Dad. Would probably get disciplined/fired if anyone noticed but I can't stop myself. We do also constantly put in adverse reports if there is something specifically wrong with a home but often it's lots of little things.
Agree you can't go on the cost/facilities, one of the worst in my area is very expensive.

[SecretSpy]

I work in a home and used to work in the local hospital.

I would suggest asking the people who work on the admission ward. There you quickly get to know which places send patients in for rubbish reasons which is a huge clue imho

[Esmereldada]

I agree that its mad mad mad that the very people who can give sound advice aren't allowed to.

Lol at meaningful head shaking! Today I showed her gp our shortlist and said "if you were taking your Mum on a day out which of these places would she like best?" He pointed at a couple. "And which are not her cup of tea?" Pointed at others. Seriously?

Anyway having visited those on our (sadly very short) shortlist, we have chosen what seems to be a lovely home. Fingers crossed.

Ps a word of advice - don't forget to ask about their policy on agency staff at night. This home told us that if agency staff are not well known to and trusted by the home, they don't allow two to do night rounds together. This is really important and I hadnt thought of it. Phew. Xx

[ProfessorDent]

It's a nightmare. The CQC reviews are a joke. My mother went into hospital with severe kidney damage in April, since then the home appears to have all its approval ticks in place, but look again and it says 'The CQC has received information that has led us to investigate' so something even more neutral, this has been going on for half a year really, I mean how long does it take? Most reviews are blandly positive and they are not actually allowed to include negative comments from anyone not there coincidentally on site when they visit unannounced (except it's only unannounced to relatives, the nursing home gets forewarning! ).

There is also CareHomeUk website, again, only positive reviews are allowed, they are called 'Recommendations'. THERE ARE NO HONEST, TRIPADVISOR-STYLE REVIEWS ANYWHERE FOR NURSING HOMES. YOU ARE KEPT IN THE DARK.

Care homes are for folk who can sort of tend to themselves and can feed themselves, are more or less aware and can speak.
Nursing homes, minimum is if they can't feed themselves, and anything beyond that really.

They fall into two categories, the plush mansion house with lovely gardens, where residents who are unable to walk around may be kept in bed all day in front of the telly, and the 'cosier' type where they are all got up at the same hour and made to sit in the lounge together, it may be full of screamers and shouters.

Sure, visit unannounced, if you can, buttonhole other residents for views. This is one area where word of mouth helps, but bear in mind that what is paradise for the compos mentis resident responsible for their own wellbeing, may not be good for someone who needs tending to, ie given enough water (hydration is the silent killer), so bear in mind the position of whoever you are speaking to.