Do you actually know an indie family?

(134 Posts)
TotallyBS Wed 20-Feb-13 22:39:58

We chose to go private because we don't have any grammar schools in our catchment and the local. comps aren't brilliant. Other choose private because their state schools have to work hard just to be not brilliant. Many of us would love to put the fees towards reducing out mortgage or holidays for e.g. if only we had decent state schools to send our kids to.

Of course there are those choose private imply because they have the disposable income such they don't have to carry out a cost benefit analysis. They do it for the same reason you like a nice hotel while on holiday complete with room service, big pool and a kids club ie nothing to do with avoiding less well off families.

As for the parents, away from places like Eton, they tend to be accountants, dentists, estate agents and the like. So not much opportunity for social climbing at most indies

The above is the preamble to the question in the subject because judging from the views expresseb by various anti private posters, very few of you actually know an indie family.

I mean, all they seem to go on about is how indie parents are snobby, social climbing and don't want their kids to mix with less well off kids. Maybe those generalisations are true for places like Eton but most indies that trade on their academic record are full of ordinary albeit well paid people.

So the next time you go on about how some parents think that the state system is full of underachieving DCS born to unsupportive WC parents, have a good look at the mirror. I suspect the person that you see isn't that different from the person you are complaining about.

Incidentally, there is another school gate politics thread going on at the moment. Apparently state school moms can be bitchy and clique-ey. shock horror grin

And your point is?

MrsPHollywood Wed 20-Feb-13 22:45:09

Seriously, I have no idea what you are getting at.

TheOriginalSteamingNit Wed 20-Feb-13 22:48:36

An 'indie family'? Wtf?

If you mean do I know any families in which the children go to private school, yes.

tiggytape Wed 20-Feb-13 22:49:29

We know lots but there isn't all this MN angst about it all where we live. At least half of people I know with children in private school have 1 in private and 1 or more in state.
That may be because their DS got into grammar but their DD missed out. Or DD got into great girls' comp but the great boys' comp is too far away for them to get a place or has changed its admission criteria.

Private school people are often the unkucky ones who've lost the great comp lottery or, at primary age, are the ones who want childcare built in 8am - 6pm (most state schools here have no wrap around care at all and the ones that do have waiting lists of 2 years).

I suppose that's why the lack of angst - the difference between a great comp and a good private school is much less that the difference between a great comp and a crap comp so, in their mind, it is fairer to use private schools to provide what the other child (by luck) gets for free.

You get a few who are totally deluded about what state schools are like and send all their children private from daay 1 but more often people aren't boasting about escaping the state school kids at all, they are miserable they've lost out on a good, free school place and feel 'forced' to go private for at least 1 child.

Limelight Wed 20-Feb-13 22:50:00

Lost. Sorry. What is an 'indie family?' Is it something to do with bullwhips and rakish grins?

irregularegular Wed 20-Feb-13 22:56:34

I honestly thought you meant something to do with indie music.

katrinefonsmark Wed 20-Feb-13 22:56:45

Indie is a vomitacious word. I also hate playdate and school run.

steppemum Wed 20-Feb-13 22:58:35

I went to Indie school. Both my brothers are sending their kids to indie primaries (although one brother will send his to grammar at secondary)

Mine will not be going to Independent school.

Your paragraph about look in the mirror is highly offensive.

I'm not sure what you mean. What is an indie family? Is it one in which both parents went to independent schools and all the children do? My father went to an independent school, my mother went to a state school. DH went to a state school; I went to an independent school. Our children go to state schools; quite a few of their friends go to independent schools.

Copthallresident Wed 20-Feb-13 23:37:59

In this household an Indie family would be one that wore Doc Martins, Alex Chung fashions and spent the summer in tents at pop festivals listening to Alex Turner. I wish ;-) and it has the stamp of approval of Grandmum, ex Deputy Head, because he seems like a very nice boy. Just saying.............

TotallyBS Wed 20-Feb-13 23:46:09

I though my point was crystal clear. Apparently not. Let's start again.

In threads about private education some people inevitably make the point that some parents chooose to go private because they are social climbers.

My point was that away from places like Eton the parents are accountants, dentists and the like. If you think that parents go private to social climb then you obviously don't know anyone who actually privately educates their DCs.

The other 'inevitable' point is that parents choose private schools because they don't want their kids to mix with less well off kids. In reality a lot of parents go private because their state options aren't brilliant. Others go private for the same reason that you pay extra for a hotel with a nice pool or a kids club or a spa ie you like your comforts and you can afford it so why not?

My point is that if you think that parents choose private because they are snobs then you obviously don't know anyone that privately educates their DCs.

Basically people generalise a lot about people who choose a private education. Those generalisations are so inaccurate that I can only conclude that you don't actually know anyone who has gone private or you don't really understand why they made that choice.

That aside, the comments was directed at those who generalise about parents who privately educate their children so I've no idea why posters who are privately educated or are privately educating their DCs are taking offence at my comments confused

lisad123everybodydancenow Wed 20-Feb-13 23:49:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hmm I dont know what to say about your point.

Are you sure you are all right?

You are assuming one heck of a lot on behalf of other people.
You are in fact assuming other people have lots of prejudices. I think you should look in the mirror, perhaps.

I dont educate my child privately. Most of my friends do.

rockinhippy Wed 20-Feb-13 23:58:42

[Confused] Lose the y & your NN is probably the most apt I've ever seen on here grin

TotallyBS Thu 21-Feb-13 00:01:09

Pure - I don't know what to say about your confusion. If you don't recognize yourself in my comment then the comment isn't directed at you.

At the moment it's a bit like me saying that Americans speak funny and some Brit going - I don't speak funny. Why is Totally saying that I speak funny?

Oh, I see, so you are directing your prejudices against other prejudiced people.

Well, I shall leave you to it then! grin

TotallyBS Thu 21-Feb-13 00:10:32

Pure - stop with the wine. You are posting a seies of non sequiturs. Time to sleep it off.

tethersend Thu 21-Feb-13 00:11:00

<takes off Teenage Fanclub t shirt>

<crestfallen>

montmartre Thu 21-Feb-13 00:13:45

Have you missed a paragraph out?

FWIW I know plenty of families that use the Independent sector (they are not 'Indie' families FFS, that would be a family that listen to Indie music!) and some of them are indeed snobs, many are not. Some of the families I know that use the maintained sector are snobs, many are not, though it's probably very easy to look down on others when your home is worth £600k more than theirs!

TotallyBS Thu 21-Feb-13 00:14:36

There is definitely a weird crowd here tonight. Oh well, maybe the crowd over at AIBU will be more sober.

montmartre Thu 21-Feb-13 00:16:10

Now you're just being offensive in addition to incoherent!

TotallyBS Thu 21-Feb-13 00:21:19

In the past I have been lectured on the correct (and respectful) way to refer to a child with learning difficulties. This is the first time I have been lectured on the correct way to refer to a family that makes use of the private system grin

Methinks I'll sit back and wait for the day shift.

Greensleeves Thu 21-Feb-13 00:21:29

Your posts come across as very antagonistic and condescending. Did you mean them to? They're actually a very poor advert for private education.

PatriciaHolm Thu 21-Feb-13 00:22:44

"My point is that if you think that parents choose private because they are snobs then you obviously don't know anyone that privately educates their DCs."

Well, I know a fair amount who do - I live in an affluent part of surrey - and I can assure you that a fair few do educate privately simply because they like the snob value. Local schools around here are excellent; you would really struggle to significantly beat their educational value at private. Yet people do pay, in many cases because they believe it makes them "better" than those who don't. We could easily pay, yet don't, as I love the fantastic state ours attend (so I am not posting out of jealousy.) I'm happy to admit I would pay if I felt the education they are getting was poor; it isn't.

You may not send your kids private out of snobbery, and many don't, I totally appreciate that. But an appreciable number do.

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