URGENT - your views on bullying needed in next 15 mins!!

[carriemumsnet]

Radio 5 want to talk this a.m about

Suggested govt measures include giving schools the power to apply for court-imposed parenting orders to compel the parents of bullying or badly behaved children to attend parenting classes or face £1000 fines. So is it the parents fault if your child is a bully? Does a £1000 fine seem severe? Or do you think schools should take more responsibility for bullying than they currently do.

They're particularly keen on hearing from parents who don't think this is fair.

If you have any views, anecdotes, ideas on thisthat you'd like us to try and pass on, please post them here!

Thanks in advance - supposed to be talking about it at 9.30!

[Twiglett]

ahve you read the thread on this carrie?

[Twiglett]

here

[carriemumsnet]

whooops - no - can you direct.... thought it was very quiet on here....Sorry bad mumsnetter!!

[carriemumsnet]

Thanks Twiglett

Big help!

Apologies I hadn't seen

[Scattercat]

I don't think that sending parents on 'parenting classes' would be of much use - I think that parents and their children should attend together and be shown the effects of what their bad behaviour can have on bullied youngsters.

[Freckle]

Perhaps there should be fairly firm guidelines on how schools should deal with bullying. It all seems so hit and miss at the moment, with each school dealing with it as they see fit. As you may know, I withdrew DS1 from school last year when he was in Y6 because of the school's failure to deal with reported and documented persistent bullying. I was later astounded to learn that the parents of the main bully, who had been named time after time, hadn't even been contacted by the school. I would have expected them to have at least been informed of what was happening if not involved in dealing with the issue.

[SackAche]

Perhaps sending the kids to some sort of behavioural therapy? I was bullied at school and as I mentioned on the other thread my little Brother was bullied last year and the school did little to help.

On the other hand I bullied too. I just joined in with the crowd as it was easier then being bullied! As long as they were picking on someone else I didn't care what I did.

I do think that something has to be done about the parents who just clearly don't feel the need to get involved when their child is bullying. The threat of a fine (as a last resort) may be enough to kick them into action.

[RachD]

Last week, report on evening news about girl who had tried to committ suicide after being bullied.

School's answer was to let her leave school 5 mins early.
And then we saw 'Secretary / Director of bullying - saying he felt that nearly all schools were adressing the problem.

I nearly chocked !!!
Let the girl leave 5 mins early.
Is that it.
Thats, the school'adressing the problem' is it ?

And if the Director thinks that the schools are dealing with it ????
How naieve - he doesn't have a clue does he ?
If he is that naieve , we are doomed becasue he is useless !!!

[SackAche]

RachD - My wee Brothers (13 at the time) school did the opposite. Their solution was to keep him back until everyone else had left. They made him feel like he had done something wrong. He got so much verbal abuse from this boy even in the classroom that they REMOVED MY BROTHER from the class and made him do his work alone in another room!

[expatinscotland]

Permanent exclusion - to an alternative school for kids with behavioural problems - for bullies.

[expatinscotland]

Oh, and for parents who don't seem to care, force them to pay compensation - to the victim, for example - from their wages or benefits.

[expatinscotland]

When money talks, people tend to listen.

[Blandmum]

Real, properly funded PRU (pupil referal units) attached to each school, staffed by teachers trained in working with challenging children. The children who bully could then be internaly excluded and greadual reintroduced to school if their behaviour imporoves....so they could go to, say PE, but continue to be excluded from Lunch and break if these were the 'falsh points' for the bullying.

Units lkike this would have small pupil teacher ratios and would also , if possible, link in to psychological/ sychiatric support (we currently have to wait over a year to refer childen for anger management)

At the same time the parent must attend parenting classes and should be expected to show that they are implementing the startagies suggested.....and if they say that isn't possible, point out that failing teachers =have to do this

[carriemumsnet]

At ease folks

Just heard that phone in going so well they don't need us.
Apologies - but it just shows it's a subject that's hit a nerve.

Thanks to all who got back to me

[Blandmum]

Oh would you like an example. the school were my kids go had a nasry case of text message bullying. the school contacted the parents, with the evidence and the out come was with the parents agreement.

The bully was taken into the heads room, and the head told her that she was all the things that she has texted to the other girl. the bully was in floods of tears, ocouldn't belive how badly she had been treated etc. And then the head pointed out that she has said those exact things to another child, The bully was told if this happened again she would be expelled. It never happened again.

Sometimes they need to be made to see the hurt they are causing to others.

[RachD]

Sackache - your story shows exactly what I am highlighting - the fact that clearly bullying is not being dealt with , and that few schools really have clear, effective policies.

By the way, I hope you understood - I thought that letting the girl leave 5 mins earlier was a good idea, I just couldn't believe that the school did nothing else - no addressing the issue, investigation, talking to the bullies parents - nothing - just 5 mins early - as if that policy alone is going to solve the problem !!!

And tour story makes me even madder about that silly director saying that most schools are dealing with it. Your story and hundreds like it, clearly shows schools are not dealing with it.

The bloke is on a different planet !!!

Shame our views weren't heard on the radio....
but lets keep going with this discussion - its a good one !