anyone else's nearly four year olds upset by changes at nursery?

[aloha]

Ds is a September baby so nearly all his peer group at nursery have now left to start school in September (he won't be going for another year). There have been a string of 'last days' for all the children he knows and plays with - and leaving parties - and a big influx of younger children who all know each other from the baby rooms. Ds is suddenly behaving quite badly atm at nursery - eg not doing as he is told - which is how (I think) he expresses anger. I think he's feeling angry at all the changes and feels isolated with so many familiar faces gone and so many new children who have established friendships and aren't open to playing with him. He told me he felt cross at nursery and doesn't like it that people are all leaving.
He has a few problems socially because of his dyspraxia anyway and I think this isn't helping. Have any of you experienced similar and did anything except time help?

[jamiesam]

Yes, in that ds1 is also a september 01 baby and so some of his friends are leaving nursery too. He has started wetting himself at nursery, staff were quite concerned. I'm afraid that (heartless mother) I told him that if he wet himself more often than the supply of pants, he'd have to wear pull-up pants. He's not wet himself since. Poor kid. My ds never vocalises things in the way yours clearly does.

Surely your ds has the same group of kids he has moved up with at nursery? IE only half the top class left? This might be a sort of practice for staggered intake at reception ... he'll be the big kid on the block there too...

[aloha]

No, hardly any of his familiar faces are left now. He was practically the youngest one there before and now all the older ones have gone to big school. There are only about five children left from his group, only four of whom go on the same days as ds and two of those children are best friends and don't play with him. I think he really does feel quite alone.
And of course the new children who have all moved up together are already friends. They are strangers to ds though.

[aloha]

I'm pleased that he will be oldest in his class at school, but sad that he is unhappy at nursery as - after a bumpy start - he was doing so well and enjoying himself.

[aloha]

And at least he isn't wetting himself - though the day before we moved house he wet himself four times in one day, poor thing.

[jamiesam]

Oh, aloha, sorry, that's sad. My ds has only really lost one good friend (in a different la area, different rules). Can only think that you talk to the staff, sure you'd have thought of this already. They must be aware that the five oldies would be overwhelmed by the new intake? With a little gentle coaching, your ds could be one of the helpers who showed the little ones the ropes maybe? I think my ds may be in similar situation is January when next school intake, so will watch this thread with interest for tips...

[TwinSetAndPearls]

Dd watched some of her friends go into "big school" today, the nursery is attached and she was heartbroken but at least we will see them at church. Didn't have the heart to tell her we will be moving away soon.

[LunarSea]

We're getting this too. ds, who has always loved nursery, said today that he didn't want to go because he hasn't got any friends any more, and they're all babies in pre-school now.

Purely by chance there's a full 6 months age gap between ds (who only missed going to school this year by a couple of days) and the next oldest child in his pre-school, and they've also had a big rush of August 02 children moving up. ds has never actually been in the same group as any of these before, as he was moved up to pre-school early, because he was obviously ready for it well before he was three, so he's always been a part of the group who have now moved up to school.

I can sort of see ds's point, because the new just 3 year olds do seem an awful lot younger than he is. While he's writing, knows his letters, is desperate to know how to spell words, loves basic arithmetic, etc, all the newcomers must seem to him to still be at the scribbling stage - hence his assessment of them as "babies".

What do I do now - ask his nursery teachers to keep an eye on him because he's feeling like this and to make sure he is still given activities which will keep him challenged and interested? I think they will probably not be surprised, as just before his friends left they told us that he was "more ready for school than most of those who are going this year".

Or do I look at moving him somewhere else so that it seems to him he's going to "school" (which I don't really want to do as I love the setting of his current nursery) and then risk having the upheaval of losing new friends again next year?

Or call the parents of some of his old nursery friends and arrange some weekend playdates so that he realises they are still his friends? But would that make things worse to see them and then have them disappear again leaving him at nursery without them?

[tykeylady]

We had probs last Christmas. DS started in a class of 9 that increased to 19 in Jan. He had sleep problems and would cry each day at school! It lasted 8 weeks. He did eventually settle back down but it was a rough time, I do sympathise
Vicki