Financial settlement

[FuckitAndStartAgain]

My stbx is not facing up to things and the divorce is being v slow. Pension valuations completed last September, form E in March. He still has not responded to proposal (I instructed my sols to overlook some small oversights in his form e because I wanted to proceed). I have spent nearly 5k in sol fees despite doing the actual divorce stuff myself). All odd as he wants the divorce, I don't!

Anyway my question is, how long passes before the Court requires that the information provided to them is updated? We will need a variable joint lives order and may have to so all of this every year.

In the meantime I am broke and he is cavorting around uk with his girlfriend! Not fair I scream!

[whattodoforthebest2]

Is there any reason why you couldn't just call a halt now? Put everything in a box and wait for him to start doing the chasing? He can then organise updated valuations and form E details while you wait for him to produce the goods.

And maybe organise a break for yourself?

[whattodoforthebest2]

Sorry OP, I wasn't answering your question about the court, I just know how frustrating your situation can be.

[EarthWindFire]

Are you going through the court system at the moment?

[FuckitAndStartAgain]

Not going through the Court re money atm although will need to get a consent order signed off once agreed.

As for leaving it, I am hoping that the consent order will say I get more than he is currently paying and I need the money. I also need to have this done, if that makes sense.

I have two boys who need supporting although he has no legal obligation as neither in full time ed? One working. My third son is still at school. I need spousal in order to support all the boys as my salary does not come close to covering mortgage etc. Have already downsized to smallest poss house with school catchment for youngest, rent is very expensive round here.

I also don't want to pay sol for work we have already done to be done again.

Nisi went through Feb but obv no absolute until finances agreed.

Rock and a hard place really.

[EarthWindFire]

If you are not going through court then there won't be a court timetable of when info is needed by.

You are correct in that if your eldest children are no longer in education then the court would not see them as dependent. If they require support from your stbx then it would be expected that they gain that themselves. As harsh as that may seem.

That leaves you and your son. If you need spousal maintenance then this may be awarded but could be time limited unless your stbx is a very high earner.

[FuckitAndStartAgain]

He is a very high earner, I am not. No assets to divide ??

Hence need for spousal. We have been married for 28 years. For the first ten years of marriage I was the high flyer, for various reasons (family related) I have not furthered my career while he he forged ahead.

I still hope we can avoid Court but am less hopeful than I was. I just need it sorted, and he is too busy to cooperate! Mainly due to his new partner and her needs for breaks...

[EarthWindFire]

Unfortunately he can't be forced to disclose anything unless you go through court.

Court is a last resort and can take a very long time, however for some there is no other option.

[FuckitAndStartAgain]

Bugger!

Just want it done :(.

[FuckitAndStartAgain]

If we get a variable joint lives order will I have to do this, and worry about paying the mortgage, every single year?

[EarthWindFire]

Your stbx would have a right to apply for a variation. For it to be successful thoughts would need to either show that your circumstances have changed (eg cohabiting or married- although these are usual trigger points for it to stop anyway) or that his have eg list his job.

[EarthWindFire]

You say that there are no assets to split but then about a mortgage. Do you have a property?

[EarthWindFire]

Sorry for typos on my phone

[FuckitAndStartAgain]

We have a property, the mortgage and other debts swallow any equity and would leave a relatively small debt. I am planning to take 75% of joint debt and have the house. This is partly why my monthly needs are so great.

Selling the house would result in some debt, more to the point I would save little on a monthly basis as v lucky to get this house in this area and rents are high. I want the house until youngest leaves full time ed, but also as I think ex might want to start another family and hopefully I would at least have equity to come out debt free if for any reason maintenance stops.

Pension combined is 270k and will go 50/50.

I earn 22k, he earns 110-150k

[bravemumof2]

I am in a similar situation! I had to move out due to my ex moving back in. I am in rented and am on benefits, have two children 4 & 6. I have full custody as ex has run off abroad to evaid paying child maintenance etc. Trying to get the financial side of things sorted but he is just hiding and I am being left high and dry! My son is very polite about everything! I feel like I am drowning as he has keys to our house even though he does not live there, I am struggling bringing up 2 kids and he is on 60k + bonuses etc living the high life. I have managed to get 12 moths bank statements joint ac which he cut my card up over a year ago! He has been splashing the cash on expensive luxury clothing etc! We have been together 21 years married for 9 of those? Oh and he has got 90% of chattels, cars etc under lock and key with his family! What should I do? How will a judge look on my case?

[bravemumof2]

Sorry for the typo not Son should be Solicitor!!!