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Divorce/separation

Please help me decide when to tell the DC about separation

4 replies

DoMeDon · 05/08/2014 17:43

DH and I are separating, selling the house and buying own homes. Only just found a buyer for our place so reckon sale will take at least 12 weeks. DC don't know yet and we are dreading telling them as we know it will crush them. I want to wait till much nearer the time, just in case sale falls through and because youngest starts school this year so would rather she did first few weeks unhindered by unhappiness. DH wants to do it this week, so it has time to sink in before school and thinks it's worse to do it a month or so after starting school. We're sort of at an impasse and I just wanted some opinions/advice from anyone who has experience.

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MirandaWest · 05/08/2014 17:57

When XH and I split up we told the DC a few days before he moved out. Not sure whether I'd have done it differently if we were both moving to new houses though.

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DoMeDon · 05/08/2014 18:15

Thanks Miranda- do you wish you'd given them more notice with hindsight. Think you're right about whole new house thing. Perhaps too difficult to wait due to needing to pack up, etc.

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MirandaWest · 05/08/2014 18:40

For us them being told a few days before worked fine. They were 5 and 7 and that amount of time before seemed to mean that there wasn't too long for them to think about it.

It wasn't exactly great but the DC reacted a lot better than either XH or I thought they would. 3 and a bit years on they still seem fine which is good. And I am fine too.

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DoMeDon · 05/08/2014 19:32

Glad to hear you are all doing well, it is my main worry that everything will fall apart.