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Divorce/separation

What do I do?

4 replies

dreamingofblueskies · 01/08/2014 12:37

I've just found out that my husband of 14 years with whom I have 3 children (ranging from 13 to 6) has been sending messages on Facebook to a girl who he went to school with. The messages got more and more explicit and now I know what her vagina looks like. Sad I was on his Facebook this morning (I got suspicious about the way he was holding his iPad when he was messaging so decided to check his messages and now I wish to God I hadn't, I suppose you get what you deserve when snooping.)
I have no idea what to do, this is a nightmare that I never even imagined that I would have to face. I feel so incredibly sick and heartbroken.
He swears he has never done this before, I am unsure whether to believe him. He's in the military so has plenty of time away where he would have the opportunity to cheat 'properly', IYSWIM.
I just cannot see a way of ever trusting him again, and I cannot see a way past this. I used to think he was the greatest husband, now I don't know what to think.
Help me figure this out please!

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CommonBurdock · 01/08/2014 13:41

Omg how awful for you. Repost on Relationships you'll get more replies.

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dreamingofblueskies · 01/08/2014 14:42

Thanks, a bit new to Mumsnet. X

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YvyB · 11/08/2014 15:43

It doesn't matter whether or not he's done it before because he's done it now and that is one more time than he should have done.
It would be a deal-breaker for me, I'm afraid - even without the sexual/infidelity issue, just the whole ickyness of the scenario would destroy my respect for him. You don't just 'accidently' receive those sort of photos and he knew it was wrong because he tried hiding it from you.
Give yourself plenty of time before you make any decisions. Could he stay somewhere else for a while or could you take dcs away for a week or two before the schools go back? You absolutely do not owe it to anyone to stay in this marriage if you don't want to but right now just give yourself time to get over the shock before you make any big decisions about the future.

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bella1968 · 15/08/2014 11:23

dreamingofblueskies print it all out! as proof in case you need it further down the line.

I'm so sorry that you have to go through this, it's heartbreaking Sad

good luck Smile

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