Hi, me and oh had/ have been together almost six years. We have three young children.
Our marriage has had lots of ups and downs. I've not been perfect.
It started right at the beginning. A small thing (such as something out of place) would result in a few days or even weeks of silence. Being totally ignored. I've tried to understand until now and put the 'non silent times' to advantage. Lots of criticisms and dismissals and basically daily let downs accompanied this. ( Hw I dress the kids, what I cooked for dinner, table out of place, how I put nappies on etc, even though he does none of this himself)
I took it all on the chin until a few weeks ago I crumbled. Feeling extremely depressed and stressed, I left to go to my mums with the kids. (3 hours away)
He initially thought I was off on holiday until I told him I'd applied for school places etc. He has been down to see the kids a few times and I came back here this week as I felt I had to make an effort too.
(The only reason I went to my mums is that it is the nearest place I know anyone and had to stay)
I felt bad, I feel guilty but I was getting so upset with it all at the time.
Nw we have talked about it, he says he will change and he didn't realise how serious it was and he wants us back.
I've made steps to stay near my mum, applied for tax credits, looked fr jobs, gt my dd a school place there etc. But I feel really guilty as he always took good care of us financially.
The worst thing is, I don't have any feelings. There is just nothing, not even anger or sadness. Just feeling sorry for him and guilt.
Do I move back in and give it another go if he says he will change? He seems genuine. What on earth do I do?
It's a really important decision as dd1 starts school in September and its not easy fixing places and I would hate to move her after a few months.
Can a marriage be fixed in this state?
Can I ever get any feelings back?
And do I go back for the sake of the 'family?'
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Divorce/separation
Hopeless situation?
14 replies
jilted · 15/07/2014 22:08
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