Should I leave my husband

[Mylo16]

Hello. This is my first post so please be gentle. I have no idea what to do and have no one to talk to.

In January last year I had a molar pregnancy. Although we weren't seriously trying we were both delighted about the pregnancy. Initially my husband was very supportive after the molar pregnancy and I know he was upset. I thought I was fine and we would just try again after the six month wait for the all clear. However I naively thought I would get pregnant again straight away but didn't. I became more and more depressed and my husband showed less and less interest in trying. Things came to a head over Xmas and we contemplated separating. We started counselling and things seemed to be back on track. However my husband told me a couple of weeks ago that he had real concerns about being a father and needed to take time to work through that. That would be fine if I wasn't 35 and we hadn't already been referred for fertility testing. My husband can give no guarantees what his answer will be or when he can give it. The thought of not having children is beyond devastating and I can't believe my husband has done this when he knows how important it is to me. I am thinking of leaving him because I feel I will resent him forever. I also no longer trust him. I however love him very much and at my age it's probably too late to meet someone new and have a child particularly when I suspect I have fertility issues. What should I do?

[Mrsgrumble]

Oh Mylo. This is truly awful for you. I am also 35 and aware of it fertility wise and thankfully dh agreed on getting a move on. Really awful that he has said this.

I can truly say it would be a deal breaker for me but at the same time you're married.. You might work through this. I don't know what to suggest though. Could you give I a time frame? If he was delighted before, what's changed?

[Mylo16]

Thanks Mrsgrumble. I know I have been really difficult to live with because I got so down about the molar pregnancy. My husband doesn't know what has changed but his parents divorced when he was young and I think he is worried the same might happen to any children we have given our problems . He is feeling very guilty and down about the whole thing and knows it could be a deal breaker. I can't however bring myself to be so selfish as to force him to have a child he doesn't want.

[Mrsgrumble]

He sounds scared rather than it being a case of not wanting the baby though. He needs to talk it through. Have you any family that you can talk to or for him to talk to about it all? I think he needs to talk all his worries through but not with you (you have enough to deal with)