DP's Wife

[lasslancashire]

So my DP of one year is still married to his wife. They have been married for 4 years now but separated for 3. Separated after he caught her cheating, later uncovered she had cheated on him several times with numerous people. She has lived in Brazil (her home country) since they separated.

After the affair and her moving back to Brazil he started divorce proceedings and gave one of her sisters the papers for her to take back to Wife to sign but he never received them back and just gave up after that.

He believes she will not divorce due to her religious beliefs and as one of the reasons he stated in the divorce was her adultery. She will not own up to it formally, despite admitting what she has done. After doing some reading I have found out all he needs to get a divorce is proof he has delivered papers to her current address. If she ignores them/fails to reply within one month the divorce will proceed without her involvement. I believe she will just ignore them as she did the last time.

However we do not have an address for her so I am at a loss for what to do next?

During their relationship (5 yrs) and marriage they lived in rented accomm. so have no house/assets to divide here. However DP always paid all the rent, bills etc because Wife said she sent the majority of her income home to help her family. He has since found out the money was actually being used to fund building a house for Wife in Brazil. It is now completed and worth around 60k minimum. Now DP is not interested in the slightest about getting any money from this house but I think maybe he could use it as a bargaining tool. I.e. sign the papers now or we'll go for half of your house too.

Just wondering if anyone had any advice to give x

[JaneParker]

I don't know about service on her.
I suspect if he could get a message to her saying he will divorce her for unreasonable behaviour which will not mention adultery and he will pay all the costs of it and the financial settlement which he must get sealed by the court in a consent order by the way otherwise she can come back for second dibs at his money, and let her keep the property in Brazil, then will she agree the divorce?

Of course hem ay be delaying without telling you why because he loves the excuse of still being married which enables him to avoid committing to anyone else. Plenty of married but separated people use that pretext all the time.

[gingercat2]

Isn't it really his problem to sort out? It sounds like you are taking the lead on this. Is he ready to divorce? My partner is married too, and I know it's horrible to be with a man married to someone else but am just wondering if it is you pushing it, not him. It could mean there are some other issues like the above poster suggested.

[Collaborate]

I have professional experience of having someone served in Brazil. What he needs to do is have her served in accordance with the local Brazil laws, which IIRC involve him having all the papers translated into Portuguese and then I think having her served personally. It can be very expensive, but this is what the rules say I'm afraid.

[bananamilkshake1]

I think he can divorce his wife at 5 years seperation without needing to get her agreement.