needing advice.

(6 Posts)
twoboysundertwo Thu 24-Oct-13 11:07:23

I have already posted but it was very quick & I was very upset and angry at the time.

my husband and I just aren't working anymore. we fight and argue all the time. he is nasty about my size and weight (which as a size 10 & 9 1/2 stone I'm pretty happy with)..
he cheated few months back with my bestfriend and I just can't trust him, he parties a lot and doesn't let me have a girls night unless its in someone's house and no males there.

I just don't know how to start a seperation, I left for a week after he cheated and took the kids to my mums.
I'm a stay at home mum with no savings or income at all.

I just need some help and advice- I feel very lost and alone as I lost my bestfriend through all this also ( like I would ever talk to her again angry)

xo

juneau Thu 24-Oct-13 11:36:18

Well you can either tell him you want to separate and ask him to move out (if you think that might work), or you can get all your info together and then present him with a fait accompli. The choice is yours. If you go for the latter I would recommend:

1) Go to your local Citizen's Advice Bureau and ask them if they can recommend a good local family law solicitor who gives an initial free consultation (most do anyway).
2) Get together all the financial info you can regarding your home, savings, pensions, investments, etc.
3) Make an appointment to go and see a solicitor and discuss how you go about separating and divorcing.

Good luck.

killpeppa Thu 24-Oct-13 11:55:38

we have talked about it alot.
it would amicable we have already talked about who gets what, about money such as child suport and that.

As a SATM I would need to apply for a house and benefits just to get myself on my feet. I have lots of help from my parents so going back to work would not be a issue but I dont have any base to start on.

We dont have much in the way of saving- just a bit here and there.
We have only been married a year last month, hes just not the person I fell in love with, hes cheated, been emotionally abusive & verbally abusive.

We arnt getting silly about things as we have two little boys and they are the most important thing

juneau Thu 24-Oct-13 12:01:48

Well, if you can do it all amicably and without lawyers then you'll obviously be able to save yourselves some money. However, as he's been abusive in the past I would certainly consider getting your financial and access arrangements put in writing. Will he move out without a fuss? Can you afford to stay on in your house with the DC? Have you researched which benefits you will be entitled to? It sounds like you've done quite a bit of the work already.

killpeppa Thu 24-Oct-13 12:47:12

I have no clue about benefits or anything.
I rand the housing association for some advice so they are calling me back.
I would get all the kids stuff in writing anyway but hes amazing dad so I have no fear about any of that and is being reasonable about all that stuff.

juneau Thu 24-Oct-13 14:39:58

CAB can help you with benefits info, or there is an online calculator somewhere. I'll see if I can find it ...

This might be it: https://www.gov.uk/benefits-adviser

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