Contact arrangements - dilemma

(1 Post)
probablyparanoid Mon 21-Oct-13 11:18:48

I don't know what the best thing to do is. I have been separated for 6 months and ex has the 3 children over night one night during the week and then every other weekend. We agreed that we would share holidays and shared most of the summer hols.
Our split is not amicable and the children's arrangements are not amicable either

Now 1/2 term has come up and the older ones have said that they want to spend 1/2 of 1/2 term with me and half with dad. I had previously agreed with dad that he would have them this 1/2 term as I had them last 1/2 term - taking them away on holiday for a week.

He is not taking them anywhere and only lives 10 mins away but I think they see my house as more of their home and just want to chill out at 'home'. I feel badly for them as I feel that they should have some choice in the matter but I also feel badly for my ex as he wants to spend time with them too. It would be different if he was taking them away - they would not have any issue with that - but if they are not away I think that they just want to be in my house.

I also think that it does not feel right if he is not going away that I should not see the children at all for 9 days when we live so close - my youngest is only 4 . On the other hand - it is his week - to do what he likes with so I don't feel I have a right to ask for anything.

I did ask if I can have them over for tea one night during the week but was met with a stony silence.

There is also an issue that one child is shortly due to do a music exam and needs to practice with me - he should not do nothing for a whole week just before the exam and ex is self admittedly useless at this. So I need to arrange that he comes over for 1/2 an hour every other day perhaps. I am scared of even mentioning this one.

I am getting in a pickle over a short week I think. Just don't know how to sort out my feelings and what the best thing to do is. Any advice would be much appreciated. I have also posted under lone parents section.

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