Very very sorry for the long long story, but please read on and help!
So I am getting divorced after my husband of 6 years walked out on me for a work colleague 10 yrs younger than me, leaving me with a one year old and a 3 week old baby. For the past year and a half he has been living with said girlfriend, having the children alternate weekends. I have also allowed him to come to the house one night per week to bath/put them to bed, he was still paying the mortgage so I didn't feel I could stop him. We have me sold the house and split the money 50/50, although I understand I could have argued for this split to be more in my favour with such young children. I have met a lovely man and we are in our first month renting together. My ex pays me, by joint discussion and agreement, £1500 a month which is about 34% of his net income. He pays nothing more as there is no longer a mortgage - my rent has to come from this too.
I have now said I am unhappy about him coming to my new house to bath kids etc at bedtime. I have offered him a Sunday morning on the weekend he doesn't have the kids to pick them up for a couple of hours, but apparently this is not good enough and I am now a complete cow. I don't understand why he doesn't see that it isn't reasonable to come into my home where I live with a new partner?! I feel like he just wants it all as suits him?
He is now basically saying he will rip up the consent order which is about to go to court as if he is only getting "minimum access" then he will only pay "minimum money", ie 20%. I can't go back to work yet as the kids are only 1 and 3, full time child care costs more than I'd earn, so if he does this, I won't be able to pay my rent! I'll have to end up spending the money from my share of the house which means I'll never be able to save and buy somewhere for us.
Any suggestions?! What would a court say if I asked them to sort out the finances do you think? Help!
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Divorce/separation
Child access v maintenance
13 replies
Beccawoo · 02/09/2013 18:35
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