Help Please

[Amy1970]

This is my first post and I would just like to get some advice from people. I am really unhappy in my relationship - we have been married for over 20 years and I find that this last year has been really difficult. My hubbie has been self employed for the last few years and money has become difficult - he has, unknown to me, taken out loans etc and we are not struggling each month to meet all our commitments. I am seriously thinking about walking away - we own our own home but still have a mortgage on it but the problem is we also own another house which is in my husbands and my parents name (mortgaged also) - this is what is keeping me staying here - I know that if we do separate/divorce he will be really difficult about this and I feel that my parents are the ones who spend the most time here and put the most amount of money into it. He can be very difficult, it has got to the stage when we dont even talk anymore, I am sick fed up of his lazy attitude, he does absolutely nothing in the house - he cant even pick up his dirty washing - all he wants to do when he comes in from work is sit on the sofa and watch crap television. Even on holiday, he didnt want to do anything during the day and only seemed happy when he was going out at night. If I confront him about not doing anything, he goes into a mood and manages to turn it around so it is I that is in the wrong, i.e. I nag him etc. He is always the one who makes the decisions and his mood seems to determine what every ones elses mood is. He is also overweight and I have asked him to go on a diet (he has a family history of the men dying young due to heart attacks) but he is not interested and again goes all moody. I asked him two weeks ago to change a lightbulb and I am still waiting!!! I am really at the end of my tether and just feel miserable all the time. I would really appreciate any comments/advice.

[Amy1970]

sorry should read now struggling not "not struggling"

[Noregrets78]

I think only you can make the choice, if you're not happy and know nothing Will change you don't need the approval of others.

NB this is a really quiet board - try on relationships you more likely to get more replies.

[Handywoman]

He sounds a real charmer. My XH was not dissimilar. My advice: leave. You will be happier, the practicalities will sort themselves out. I left my H two months ago. Not been so happy for ten years.