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Divorce/separation

Would it be weird to say this now?

19 replies

wherewouldyoulive · 23/08/2013 23:02

We are not getting separated or divorcing at the moment. But I sometimes imagine we could be separated eventhough the chances are low. Would it be weird if I tell my husband NOW not to date someone until divorce is completed if we get to separated?
My husband has ever said a couple of times he would find somewhere to live during 5-6 years of marriage.

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purplewithred · 23/08/2013 23:06

Yes it would.

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Lonecatwithkitten · 24/08/2013 07:58

Yes it would and even if you did if he was so minded he would probably ignore/forget this when it came to the crunch.

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MirandaWest · 24/08/2013 08:00

That would be weird. And besides if you and he did separate its not like you would be able to stop who he dated or when he did it.

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wherewouldyoulive · 24/08/2013 13:50

Isnt it adultery if your spouse dates someone during separation because you are still legally married?

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Llareggub · 24/08/2013 13:53

I suppose technically it is. I'm not divorced yet but I've dated a few men and been in a fairly long relationship too. The legal process of divorce isn't complete but in my head it is totally over.

But to answer your other question, yes, I think it is weird to ask your husband not to date following separation.

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wherewouldyoulive · 24/08/2013 14:12

If your spouse dates someone during separation or divorce process shouldnt adultery be added to the ground of divorce petition?

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Mintyy · 24/08/2013 14:14

There are strange questions. What are you really asking?

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Llareggub · 24/08/2013 14:33

I would be quite happy for my ex to divorce me. He can bloody pay for it too! Why aren't you responding to any of the posts?

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Onesleeptillwembley · 24/08/2013 14:42

You sound like a control freak. Separate and go your own way with dignity.

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DioneTheDiabolist · 24/08/2013 14:44

If you are separated, then the reason for marital breakdown cannot be adultery as the marital relationship had already ended. Anyway OP, if you think you can dictate what a spouse does post seperation you are hillariously and very much mistaken.

Anyway it is weird that you're even posting this. It would be very weird if you said it. Why would you?

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Collaborate · 24/08/2013 15:18

Dione that's not right. You can commit adultery even though you're separated. The only requirement is you're still married. No need to still be living together.

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DioneTheDiabolist · 24/08/2013 15:26

I wasn't saying that you couldn't cite it in divorce papers. I was saying that it would be ridiculous and disengenuous, not to mention twattish, spiteful and controlling, to do so when the relationship had already broken down.

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wherewouldyoulive · 24/08/2013 17:06

I think it's courtesy to wait until the divorce is completed.

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Lizzabadger · 24/08/2013 17:11

If you want to leave your husband leave him, but you don't then get to dictate whether he dates. Why would you want to, anyway?

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DioneTheDiabolist · 24/08/2013 17:40

I think it's unrealistic to even try to exert that much control over someone you are no longer in a romantic relationship with OP. Especially when the process can be lengthy and acriminious.

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Chubfuddler · 24/08/2013 17:43

Good luck with your hypothetical separation and divorce op.

There is no requirement or discernible benefit to add adultery to a divorce petition already in process if you discovered your ex OH had formed a new relationship. It would be completely pointless and just create delay.

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MirandaWest · 24/08/2013 17:50

My XH and I are getting divorced on the grounds of two years separation. We've both been being adulterous (although he started it with an affair) but it isn't mentioned in the divorce petition as there's no need.

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Mojavewonderer · 25/09/2013 20:26

Yes OP it would be weird and what right do you have to tell your (ex) husband to do anything after you've separated. Do your husband a favour and let him go and find someone who isn't controlling!

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WantToMakeTheBestDecionForEver · 01/10/2013 09:55

It depends where you live, globally. If you are in a country where adultery is illegal, it does matter. By law it is adultery until you are divorced. Whether you care, is another matter.

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