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Divorce/separation

Would you want to know what the kids think?

7 replies

despairingdaughter · 19/08/2013 17:41

Hello Mums!
I am a despairing daughter aged 21 facing my parents splitting up. I was thinking of starting a blog for mumsnetters giving them an idea of how the kids feel in all this, and documenting moving home and the aftermath of it all. But would anyone be interested in reading it?! I imagine it would articulate why kids struggle so much with the split and give a lighthearted (as possible) look at what really happens during a divorce and adjusting to all the changes.
Your thoughts and comments would really be appreciated!

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TotallyBursar · 19/08/2013 18:06

But you are 21, you are an adult.
Apart from the fact many divorcing parents have been children of divorce I'm not sure that an adult child's opinion isn't a little bit niche.
From the 'children's perspective' is different if they are independent, adult offspring living and working away from home than the toddlers-tween very common age group.

What do you feel you can offer? That's not snark btw, just curiosity.
Wouldn't most adult children make their views known by discussing things with their parents?

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TotallyBursar · 19/08/2013 18:11

Sorry I see you must still be at home. And I'm not saying don't do it, if it helps and gives anyone a voice then fair enough. It's the oracle aspect I may have misread.

I'm just curious and a bit confused due to the difference one expects in adult relationships to adult:child.
Maybe you've hit on a massively underrepresented demographic and I'm just being dim.

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morethanpotatoprints · 19/08/2013 18:15

At 21 you are an adult and whilst I think its important to listen to your child's feelings when divorce is imminent, but apart from this what else can be done or said.
I think parents feel badly enough about how it affects the dc, the only result I can see from your point would be to promote guilt from the divorcing parents.
Not all dc are negatively affected by divorce, if their home life has been unbearable as in my dhs case, you would welcome the respite.

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professorgrommit · 19/08/2013 19:32

I think that would be great-the more voices on mumsnet the better! And ops will vote with their keyboard on whether this is of interest. But post in relationships as there will be more adult child of divorce there. Look forwrad to hear your perpectives!

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despairingdaughter · 19/08/2013 20:48

Thank you for your input everyone, it is funny to hear you all label me an adult as I do still feel very much like a child (perhaps it's the living at home!) and perhaps I emphasised the child aspect too much as I imagine most of your children are a lot younger, but I will mull it over a bit more.
I would still love to hear any opinions anyone has.
I know my mum is quite keen to get involved in the blog, so perhaps it would be better if we did a dual perspective of how our lives are changing (she has never lifted a paint brush in her life and now faces the prospect of re-decorating an entire new house!). As I said, will have a bit more of a think! But thanks again.

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CookieDoughKid · 24/08/2013 19:24

I would be interested in hearing the off-spring's perspective and experiences of the divorce - what was painful, what worked well, what could have been done better to enable everyone to move on and cope with it.

I'd also like to hear your views on marriage and divorce now that you have seen your parents go through it.

I really look forward to your blog and think it is a FAB idea. Good luck!

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jenny99 · 26/08/2013 20:53

I also think it is a great idea and would really like to read it. Good luck x

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