Has anyone 'bought out' exh?

[RollerCola]

Has anyone stayed in the family home with children and paid their ex a lump sum as their share of the equity?

Can you give me some advice as to how you decided how much he (or she) received?

I've been told that as the main child carer I should be entitled to a larger share of the equity so was thinking along the lines of a 60/40 split in my favour, however H has been to see a solicitor today who seems to think he should request a 50/50 split.

I earn more than him, and his earnings are low so he wouldn't be in a position to give me much in the way of maintenance. I'm preparing to have to pay for everything myself without getting anything extra from him, including most of the dcs expenses (they're 11 & 6) although he has said he will give me 'some' money for them if he can.

I can afford to pay bills etc on the family home by myself, and could remortgage to get a lump sum to buy his share, but I can't get enough to give him a 50/50 share. I really don't want to have to sell up straight away as the children are settled here, but accept that I might have to to give him his share. I'd prefer to wait 6mths-1yr before putting the house up for sale - can I do that?

I'm going to see a solicitor soon to look at my options but if anyone has done this I'd really appreciate some advice. Many thanks

[tulipflowers]

I'm not sure about how the house would be split,depends on what other money is in the equation, ie savings or pensions.
I've been advised by a solicitor to offer me getting the house, and he keeps his pension.
You do not have to sell the house to give him his share yet. You don't have to sell until your youngest child is 18, or leaves full time education.

[Dirtymistress]

I got bought out by my exh. He is ten years older and ultimately it was cheaper for him to stay (pleased he did as the house I then bought us much nicer). We had to have two valuations and then he had to give me half the equity. Sadly he couldn't get a big enough mortgage to cover this so I went for a lesser sum. I just wanted to be out of it and still just about had enough to put down 20% and pay solicitors fees on something else. So he got away with a good 15k but I just wanted to move on.

[Shinyshell]

I am trying to this at the moment. I have been to see 2 solicitors who say the starting point is 50/50 split of equity. Both said I was unlikely to get more than 50%. Am now in the process of getting house valued . Trying to make it look as bad as possible !

[chickensaladagain]

I bought my ex out on a 50/50 split of the equity as I didn't qualify for legal aid and ultimately it was cheaper to do that than go to court for a larger percentage of the house

Plus it was quicker and I wanted as clean a break as possible

[Lonecatwithkitten]

I bought ExH out. We had roughly similar salaries, almost identical pensions. Two other properties, family home and my business. We split roughly 50:50, but as my income will double if not treble I paid him out at 50:50, but will pay the school fees. Neither of us pay the other any maintenance.

[SaidFlorence]

I bought out my ex and he got 1/3 of the equity. I argued that I wad entitled to one third and the children who would still live there were entitled to a third between them. He didnt put up a fight.

[RollerCola]

Thanks for your replies, I've made an appt to see a solicitor to see if we can work something out. I really don't want to have to move for the children's sake but accept that if I can't raise enough to give him an agreed share then we'll have to.

[Noregrets78]

I'm in the process of buying out H - for 50% of the equity. Needs to be considered alongside the wider assets - ours works out around 50/50 overall. I also consider myself the main carer for DD, but earn far more than DH who is in and out of employment. His capacity to earn is the second thing they take account of, after the caring for children. Solicitor advised we'd probably end up around the 50/50 mark if we went to court (which I obviously don't want to do...)

You can usually give him some now, and some when the house is sold, or children grow up, or you marry / move someone in? Although as others have said he may accept less to make a clean break.

[FannyBazaar]

I bought out my STBX, I agreed to 50% of the equity, less the amount of debts he added to the mortgage as a large sum had been added to the mortgage which was his loans and credit cards. I argued originally that I should stay in the house with DS as it was far less disruptive for DS.

[Mosman]

Anyone got more than 50% ? I'm pushing for 70% to be sold when the youngest is 18 but I will have paid off all of the mortgage by that point as currently it's in negative equity and we've only covered the interest up to this point so really him getting 30% grates a bit.