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Divorce/separation

going to court

6 replies

Magicmayhem · 17/06/2013 00:36

My STBEH and I are going to court next month to finalise our financial affairs before we get our absolute.
We have just exchanged form E's

My ex only wants to pay £100 a month towards our 2 teenage children, (£12.50 per child per week) and have 50% of the equity in the house, so he can afford a nice flat for when the kids come and stay. Our house is valued at the same price he wants to buy a flat for.
The children stay with him 2 nights a month... if that as he's forever canceling.
I did agree to the equity bit in our seperation agreement as he lived in the family home for nearly a year before moving out, and in with his new GF. He was abusive, always shouting at me and the kids, and threatening to sell the house and make us homeless.
I actually would have signed anything to get rid of him.
I am engaged to my BF but don't live together, her lives 70 miles away, but does stay several times a week. We have no plans to get married at the moment.
My ex thinks that my BF should support me and the kids.
My solicitor says that BF could die tomorrow and that EX's needs to support his kids.

Has anyone been through something simular? or give me some idea of what happens in court, my solicitor says that the Judge would never agree to the above as the children aren't being provided for.

thanks

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maggiethemole · 17/06/2013 10:15

Are you getting legal advice? I know you mention a solicitor but tbh does not sound like it. If you are skimping to save money (I know very tempting), its not worth it as you could really get really diddled! also Fighting etc is irrelevant (Lets face it all divorcing couples do this!) so forget it and definitely don't bring this into court as it will backfire.
However... firstly, it would be expected that both parents have a similar standard house and that the NRP would have a home where the children can stay including bedrooms so his proposal sounds reasonable. if you go to court and demand more for you and suggest a lesser place for him where he cant have the children to stay you are unlikely to win. I would agree to the 50% equity share (if you have no other assets).
On the maintenance the judge will look at your respective incomes and needs including the children and how often they stay with each parent. This will include if you are both living with other people as they can contribute to households but your respective BF/GF would not be expected to support kids. Don't know what your incomes are but £100 sounds too little.
TBH sounds like you should agree out of court as its not so complicated. Court will require lots of legal preparation and a barrister: probably £5k plus at least. Why don't you mediate? Cheap and effective and then you just file the court documents.

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Magicmayhem · 17/06/2013 23:31

Hi MTM, thanks for replying... I have got a solicitor, but wondered why you think it doesn't sound like it?

I have never suggested that he has a lesser place where he can't have the children... just that he has DS twice a month... if that... DD tends to stay at her friends house on a saturday night instead of staying at his.

I just know that I would struggle on my income £9000 a year

has anyone else been to court and could tell me how it went for them.

Thanks

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Magicmayhem · 18/06/2013 16:45

Bumping for the afternoon MNers...

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OldLadyKnowsNothing · 18/06/2013 16:50

Maintainance for the dc isn't decided by the court, you need the CSA for that. More info here, and on links.

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SpringyReframed · 25/06/2013 18:07

I was in court only recently (FDR) and we settled.

I have one 17 y o still at home and their was no mention of the CSA being involved but I got an amount for my DS agreed which I am very happy with. It went far beyond CSA guidelines ie. DS is getting it until he finishes his first degree even if he takes a gap year and does a 4 year degree. It is being paid directly to him. The judge was very keen on it being done this way and determined DS should be supported like this by his father. (Who incidentally did not want to pay beyond 18 but then made a big deal of emailing DS saying what a fine thing he was going to be doing for him. Hmm)

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bobscout · 02/07/2013 19:34

I am new to this and one of the reasons I joined. my consent order has just come to an end and I was hoping to connect with people in a similar situation to my own and see if there was any advice out there, I was advised by my barrister that I should accept the offer from my ex husband as my bill was already 12k and he said it would cost at least another 10k to take the case further. I earn approx. 8k a year and my ex upwards of 120k, we went to court as he wouldn't agree to pay me anything after my youngest was 13years old, without going into the whole case, there were lots of reasons my solicitor was going for a joint lives older, which would have at least given myself and my 2 children some financial security as it stands we have very little and as I said I couldn't take the case further. There must be a route I and people in my situation can take post consent order. I would be grateful for any one willing to join my quest for justice where people with no finance are being discriminated against. My solicitor has said that she felt I had a rough deal, I just don't know where to go from here??

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