Leaving partner, tiny children. Scared.

[Numbthumbs]

I am leaving my partner. He is useless and i have had enough (i have another thread on relationships). I am just looking for some general advise and support really!

My DC are 21 months and 9 weeks. I will have to move into my parents whilst i find us somewhere else to live. I work 16 hours a week in a permanent job (no longer on maternity leave as forced to go back to work early) and 6 hours per month in another job.
I need to find out how much i am entitled to from the benefits system....im finding it really tough to get an accurate reflection using the online benefits tools as my income has fluctuated loads over the last few years and obviously ive been living with a partner with an income. Is my best bet to make an appointment at my local jobcentre?

Im so scared about the future at the moment, i know me and the DCs will be better off without him in our immediate lives but i know he will make life very difficult for me. He doesnt drive so i will have to all the dropping off and picking up of the DCs when they are with him and he has has been a very hands off dad with my 9 week old so i am very apprehensive about even letting him have any contact with him unsupervised.

I know this will be the biggest step and that once i have actually moved out it will get easier but im dreading talking to my parents about my decision, they will have me at their house no problems but then i will have to enter the minefield that is looking for somewhere for us to live - a one bedroom flat probably.

I feel such a fool for being in this situation. When i got pg with DS (unplanned and almost forced into a termination) i knew it would more than likely end like this and feel such an irresponsible and awful human being for knowingly bringing him into this. I wish i was less stressed and sleep deprived, then i might be more like the independent and strong woman i want to be.

Has anyone been in this situation with children so young, was it all ok!!

[eggsaplenty]

so sorry to hear about you hard decision
sounds like you have and are having a really hard time
the discion you have come to must have been a hard one but you have to do what is the best thing for you

[Milly22]

Went through the scary bit but as soon as I got a solicitor the pressure eased off and I'm now getting excited dc are 9 and 12 so I know that's a bit different. Think of it like this, scared of going it alone or scared waking up at 50 knowing the you've wasted how many years with the wrong person. You have one life and go for it, you'll surprise yourself and as somebody who left a lot of responsibility to a very controlling H, I'm actually doing things for myself and getting everything in order, I'm really happy and even though things aren't finalised, looking forward to the coming months as I'm feeling the old me is coming back. Good Luck.

[Mother2many]

Your children were the same age almost as mine when my DH and I split. It is hard...

Hope your okay!