ex h and me are separated. We both work FT - I brought the dcs up, bought their presents, sorted out the schools, bought their uniform, clothes, cooked for them, did the housework etc. so was generally in charge of discipline too.
ex dh treated the house like a hotel - have NO DOUBT he loved the kids but never pulled his weight
now he has his own place, he inflicts absolutely no discipline on the dcs and he has told me this. He said he wants to be this way so the dcs feel welcome at his house.
But this means, for example, that dd (about to be 13) is allowed to be excessively untidy and unhygienic. For example, when she has her period, quite often now she doesn't even bother to take the pads out of her pants when she throws them in the wash. She eats meals in her bed and spills loads of food. At dh's house, she gets away with all of this and he employs a cleaner (poor woman).
At my house, I don't have a cleaner, and I expect the dcs to clean up after themselves and I help a bit. But this morning we had a huge battle as I told her off for having a midnight snack in her bed (it was full of biscuit crumbs and half eaten pieces of fruit and food wrappers) and she burst into tears and said it was better at dh's house where she could do what she wanted.
I spoke to dh about 'rules' and of course, I could tell he was completely secretly delighted by this revelation that dd is behaving this eay grrr.
I am going to stick to my guns - but do I just give up on dh being sensible at any stage?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.
Divorce/separation
Rules in your house versus Rules in ex's house - do I give up on persuading ex dh to be sensible
3 replies
rottenscoundrel · 20/03/2013 14:55
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.