I'm going through what I think is fair to say is a pretty difficult separation from my son's father; not least because I am certain that my ex has serious undiagnosed psychiatric problems - various members if his own family have said to me on separate occasions that he's 'never been right in the head'. I was fairly cynical about the courts process and prepared that the nuances of his emotional state (my diagnosis, in no way professional, is that he suffers from some form of personality disorder and falls somewhere on the autism scale - he has always been focussed on outward appearance over reality, seeming to see it as better to kiss me by force that for me not to kiss him goodbye) would not be picked up on and tried my very hardest for almost 18 months to reach a resolution with him through mediation (he wants 50/50 split and shared residence) but he has been determined to prolong everything so that he can maintain his control over every aspect of my life and to punish me for leaving him.
So we are going through the courts now and a full CAFCASS section 7 report commissioned (there have been numerous incidents I've reported to the police with him ripping my screaming little boy from my arms, leaving him locked in the car whilst he accuses me of having fictitious affairs, refusing to leave my property etc etc).
I was quite open with the CAFCASS worker in acknowledging that I didn't expect a final hearing to really reach a proper verdict on his emotional state since outwardly he comes across as very devoted, charming, is holding down a job (a complete Jekyll and Hyde) and was prepared for her to recommend in his favour - really the extent of our differences comes down to two extra overnight stays with him over 4 weeks, such is the amount I have compromised to try and agree something. What I was not prepared for was for her to totally omit any reference to any of the concerns I raised with her.
The report reads like a case for the defence. She has made a recommendation in his favour and then been completely selective about the evidence she has had from me in order to justify her decision. I am totally floored reading it and feel totally shattered. I was prepared that the recommendation mighty not go in my favour because of a lack of concrete evidence but feel utterly betrayed and misrepresented by the total omission of any of the concerns I raised.
Sorry for such a long post but I wondered if anyone else had had a similar experience and how they dealt with it? I feel totally powerless in that the report has been filed already with the courts and so effectively the damage is done - it feels like my contesting it might compound her caricature of me as an obstructive bitch who only moved in with ds father because I got pregnant (the first point she makes in the section where she apparently presents my case). I have emailed her directly to state some of my concerns and have an appointment to review with my solicitor , but she has indicated to me that the only option really is to formally contest it through final hearing which I really can't afford, and which I fear means he has more to cling on to in terms of his refusal to accept the separation and move on.
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Divorce/separation
Anyone else feel thoroughly shafted by CAFCASS?
17 replies
QueenGwen · 11/03/2013 10:36
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Anna227 ·
11/03/2013 13:43
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03/06/2014 11:37
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15/01/2019 10:53
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