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Divorce/separation

how to explain seperation to 2 yr old

2 replies

pesta · 10/02/2013 08:08

Our separation has been a bit drawn out and exDP gone from staying regularly in the spare bed to now living in a (grotty) B&B. Circumstances prevent exDP getting a room or flat for the next few months so DS1 can't visit him (I think it would be confusing and not a nice environment to visit his dad). We had just been saying 'daddy is going to work' but since exdDp is unemployed and has massive mental health issues, visits are erratic at best, and not consistently for dinner or at weekend and even with a 2 yr old, I think 'daddy at work' is beginning not to wash !

Is 'Daddy sleeps in a different place now but will visit lots and loves you very much' enough information ? He can't see where this other place is. He is a bright, visual child and I think he is getting unsettled with it all, especially tensions when exDp visits. He needs more info but I am worried about what to say and how. Thank you so much for any advice.

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NoPartyDay · 10/02/2013 12:23

I think its sad that when we have an illness we get support from concerned friends and family, but with mental health issues, quite often the behaviour that is related to their illness, unfortunately drives people away. I hope your X can get medical and emotional support to help him with the recovery from his illness, so he can re-establish when in remission form his illness. Saying "Daddy sleeps at his place now" sounds clear and easy for your child to understand, since it is ongoing.

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pesta · 10/02/2013 20:43

Thank you NoPartyDay. You are absolutely right about mental health issues. Even though we have separated, he has few friends and even his family aren't keen to help, because he is so ill and people just don't understand. I have spent a lot of time onto mental health team, doctors and counsellors but that is another thread. If it was a physical illness people would 'rally round' wouldn't they ? I know the best thing for the DC, whatever happens, is for exDP to get better, I just want to make sure we deal with it in the best way for our toddler, the baby knows no different.