Split in 2005, with 2 dc's (now 10 and 14). I was (and am still) primary carer, XP has never applied for legal responsibility, but has (on his request) 50% shared care. Disregarding other problems, such as us giving him undeserved settlement money, problems over his lack of responsibility for school runs, child care and clubs, not paying any maintenance until I finally went to the CSA in 2010, a spat which got as far as mediation when we thought we were going to have to move for DH's work, etc etc, things have been fairly amicable, well, as far as they can be.
A couple of weeks ago, we were having a parenting meeting for the term ahead. XP brought his brother with him, and said that he has to move out of his parents house. They haven't asked him to move out, he just wants to move out. But he doesn't earn that much, and explained that he can't claim Child Tax Credit unless he is receiving the Child Benefit for that child. So he asked if he could claim the Child Benefit for one of the children 'as that would be fair'.
Now, bear in mind he got the best part of two mortgage extensions when he was here, that he has just walked away from leaving me (and therefore DH) to pay; that we gave him £11000 settlement money for a house he had no rights to, name not on mortgage, never paid more than the interest payments, etc etc; that he didn't pay any maintenance for the kids until two years ago; that despite me giving him his first month's rent for a flat, he could not sustain himself in a house sharing with another single dad friend, and so chose to move back home with his parents; that he actually relies on his parents for much of the parenting jobs, such as school runs, looking after them until he gets home from work, doing the washing, cooking etc.
Do you agree with us that, aside from CHB effectively being my pension, we should say no? Obviously losing the Tax Credit and CHB would be a considerable chunk of loss for us, and would have a huge effect on our monthly budget. We pay for all clothes, school uniform and equipment (several times over, as it is left at Dad's house and never returns) as well, so I'm worried that this will end up with the kids not getting stuff bought for them. Please, if you disagree, don't flame me, I'm just genuinely worried that this will blow up into a massive argument again, and we can't afford mediation!
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Divorce/separation
Anyone know about CHB rights?
13 replies
MerrythuluDestroyerofMincePies · 17/01/2013 08:20
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