Divorce settlement

[Mothercathy1973]

I'm in the process of selling my house in order to finalise my divorce settlement. I have 3 kids by my ex all under 10years of age. My ex is adamant he will get half the proceeds from the house once it's sold. I have a new partner but we don't live together. Is my ex correct as I still have to re home me and the kids.

[nkf]

50%? Not necessarily. Have you got a solicitor?

[Mothercathy1973]

I do but haven't seen her in a while. I'm getting different views tho. I just wondered if anyone out there had been in a similar situation and what the outcome would be. As I'm getting legal aid some solicitors take easy way out.

[nkf]

I think t he principle is that you start from 50/50 and then negotiate according to various things. The priority is the children's welfare. Can they be reasonably housed on 50% equity? When you say "my house" was it yours before marriage?

[Mothercathy1973]

Sorry it was our house. We have a joint mortgage with equal stakes. With 50 percent equity it's not enough to buy a property. I am planning on living with my partner but as he has bad debts from his previous relationship split I would have to get a mortgage on my own. My ex has told be I should rent and claim benefits.

[nkf]

Your ex's opinion has no bearing on the matter. I would say (my only knowhow is from going through the experience/am not a lawyer) that the key is where will the children live? It might be that you get more of the equity. Or you buy him out. Or he gets his 50% but not untiil the children reach a certain age.

The bit about the partner I don't get. Living with him (and your children) in his house? But you are getting a mortgage? Not sure.

Anyway, you need a lawyer. Good luck.

[Mothercathy1973]

My partner lives with his parents at moment and wouldn't be able to get a mortgage as his credit score is poor. I just wondered if the financial settlement would go against me if I rent with my new partner until I receive a settlement. This is were my ex states he is not going to pay for me and my partners new house. I.e my part of the settlement would be used towards the purchase of a new house.

[nkf]

Yes but your ex's views are not the main point of concern. The issues are where will your young children live? With whom will they live? And how will they will be provided for? New partners, angry exes, all that - not the point. Sorry, but I think your focus is wrong. How will your children be housed, fed, educated and generally looked after post divorce? Start with that and it will all fall into place.

[Mothercathy1973]

Thanks for all your help. This is what I pointed out to the ex. I've had estate agents round. Just need him to sign declaration. Then it can go on market. He's trying to bully me. I gave up a good career to care for our children. Thanks again.

[STIDW]

If you sell the property what will happen to the equity whilst the finances are being settled?

The children are the priority, in particular providing them with a roof over their heads. There is a checklist of other factors when splitting assets and usually the "needs" of the spouse comes at the top or near the top of the list. If you move out you and they will have your housing needs met but your husband will still need to be rehoused. It may not make a huge amount of difference but check it out with your solicitor before moving.

[VBisme]

I wouldn't sell the house until you've got a legally binding agreement on what happens to the proceeds.
In order to have a clean break (I.e. no spousal maintenance), the higher earner / NRP usually takes a lower proportion of the proceeds of the house.
This should all be covered in a financial dispute resolution in court.

[Xenia2012]

Are you married? That can make a big difference. I think you must be as writing about divorce.

If you earn more than he does as I did he may well get more than 50% as my ex did.