separating after twelve years, two kids and a house together

[lizzie479]

Hi , me and my other half are now one month into living apart and it is so stressful. I wish we had been married as it is so difficult trying to sort things out without divorce proceedings. I asked him to leave because of verbal abuse and could be placing an occupation order and anti molestation order on him but feel it will be detrimental to the children and too stressful for me to go through court in this way. So I cancelled this today and have tried to talk to ex about mediation etc but he seems to want me to just take him to court. He offered me a clean break settlement but it's not fair and when I told him he is not paying enough maintenance he told me to go through the CSA then. I hate him sooooo much and I am only just at the beginning. I am making an appointment with another solicitor in a couple of weeks but am not sure what will happen. I want things like the length of our relationship, our engagement, the fact I am a full time mum of two pre schoolers to be taken into consideration like it is in a divorce settlement but am I being unrealistic?

[olgaga]

What is your housing situation? What joint assets are there?

I don't understand what you mean when you say you could be getting an occupation order but it would be "detrimental to the children". They need somewhere to live!

He can have a clean break from you, but not from his children. He will be obliged to pay maintenance to them whatever happens. If he won't, then yes you will have to go through the CSA.