Hi, this is my first post on here, i really hope i can get some good advice.
i have been married to DH for 8yrs, together for 12. we have two dcs, 4 and 18months.
ever since i had dc1, things started to go downhill with me and dh.he was always too busy working to ever notice me and dc1, never spent any time with us. i felt very alone and was also suffering from pnd. dh started to sleep in spare room a few days after i had dc1 as he didnt want to be woken up by dc1. that began the downfall really as we never had any intimacy or any affection after that. got to the point where we actually stopped talking to each other.
when dc1 turned 2, we thgt we would give our marriage another go, thats when i got pregnant with dc2. however, after only a few weeks, things went rubbish again and he went back into his room.
i went through the entire pregnancy on my own whilst working full time and looking after dc1. it was horrible. he never once asked how i was or how baby was etc. anyway, when dc2 was around 4mths old, he lost his job. became depressed and basically 'woke up' to the fact that he had a wife and 2kids. but by this time, it was too late for me.
i do not love him at all, i feel nothing for him, however i do care about him. my skin crawls if he comes within a metre of me. we have not slept together since i got pregnant with dc2. dc2 is now 18mths.
dh has changed alot, spends time with dcs, does more around the house. gets on very well with my family. he is a really decent guy, loyal and caring. but i just dont love him. past few months we constantly bicker and argue in front of dcs. i have told him how i feel, he will not let me go. says i should sacrifice for the kids sake and try again with him.
i have over the past few days found a nice house to rent. it will mean moving 20miles away, finding a school for dc1 etc. a massive upheaval.
SO, my question is, WHAT SHOULD I DO? i cannot spend the rest of my life like this, i am only 32. if i leave him, my family will basically not talk to me. i'll be on my own with two dcs.
Any help/advice greatly appreciated. apologies for LONG post xxx
PS. also posted in relationships.
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Divorce/separation
I dont love him but too scared to leave
6 replies
JamJars80 · 29/09/2012 12:21
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