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Divorce/separation

Help me organise my paperwork!!

13 replies

frazzil · 27/08/2012 14:00

I am totally unorganised. My mind just doesn't seem to work that way! I am heading for a divorce and everyone's telling em to get all details of bills, expenditure, mortgage, etc etc. ready but the stress of having to divorce is making doing this even harder than it would be normally. And normally I'd struggle to get all paperwork in order anyway.
What do I need to have to show lawyers and how the f&%$k should I organise myself? All those people out there who are great at filing and keeping things in order give me your tips. I am tempted to go out and blow a bomb on fancy filing solutions but not sure that would help me. It might just be displacement activity.
At the mo all papers are stuffed in drawers and I seem to have deep seated phobia of looking at figures/numbers. I work self employed and I manage that well, but personally I have a creative bent which I'm hoping excuses my messy filing!
And BTW ex DH will be a complete nightmare to divorce, not to mention there are nightmares relating to DS and access , so I need to be on the ball.
Wail!!

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zippyrainbowbrite · 27/08/2012 14:16

Sorry about the divorce, I have no experience on that, so can't offer any advice there.

Organising is my forte though, I love it! I recently re-did our household stuff and it's so much easier now than how it used to be! I have a cheap 2 drawer metal filing cabinet (which I've covered in wallpaper to make look prettyGrin), and use coloured suspension files in it e.g. Red is bank accounts, blue cards, green utilities etc. I keep one years worth and file them in date order, with the newest going to the front (although I would guess that if divorcing you might want to keep more than that). Most things are set up by direct debit, so when a bill comes through I just have a quick look through to make sure all's ok, then file it straight away. If it needs paying then I leave it out until its paid so I don't forget about it.

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frazzil · 27/08/2012 14:21

Thanks Zippy, I know there are so many people good at organising and love it; I've always WISHED I was one of them!! Thank u for your tips.
I need someone to come round and kick me up the butt and do all this for me while I sit in the middle of the floor with my head in my hands (as I feel like doing). Surely there are people u can call in for such a task!
I have tried and tried and I just can't get it together. I will start by doing piles on the living room floor of bank statements, bills, etc. and at the end of today try to find a place for each of them without going out and splurging in Muji or anything daft. It makes my head tingle even thinking about it. Sob!

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frazzil · 27/08/2012 14:31

Must stop browsing on Viking Direct and just bloody get on with it! I'm in such a state re divorce that it's hard to think straight.

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frazzil · 27/08/2012 15:06

Bump

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frazzil · 27/08/2012 16:04

bump

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Bellie · 27/08/2012 16:13

I was there with you a while ago! It is a right pain, but I had one weekend, where I didn't have the children (not sure if this is manageable for you?) and just put lots of loud music on and did it.

I am a real procrastinator and hate paperwork with a passion, but I just imagined that at the end of it I would be able to go to see my solicitor as the most organised person there was.

I brought a A4 ring binder and dividers and had a section for bills, credit cards, bank statements, marriage certificate, saving accounts, other outgoings, salary statements.

Went to see my solicitor and handed copy of file over - he told me if he could he would give me a gold star for organisation!! (proud emoticon!!)

Unfortunately there is no short cuts to doing it, just has to be done I'm afraid. But just think of the satisfaction that you will have when you are asked a question and you have the paperwork to hand.

Also, in a very small way made me feel in control again!

Good luck!

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frazzil · 27/08/2012 16:29

Oh thanks Bellie I am trying. Why oh why does it make me feel so sick. I have no ds today so am trying to crack on. Loud music is a good idea. xx

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frazzil · 27/08/2012 17:40

bump

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frazzil · 27/08/2012 18:51

bump; I'm still at it....and still shuddering with revulsion. Don't know if I'm any further forward. Can't think straight.

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Bellie · 27/08/2012 19:09

Just came on to ask how you were getting on!


Keep going - is there something that you can give yourself as a reward at the end - wine, choc, bath etc?

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frazzil · 28/08/2012 08:06

Thanks Bellie! Had to turn the music off, was annoying me "Won't you take me to....Funky Town!" etc. I don't even have a CD player, so it was Heart FM and loads of adverts....must sort out a CD player now DH has taken all his stereo..
I have separate piles all over the study- bank statements, mortgage stuff, house insurance, council tax, gas, lecky etc. I've got a huge ring binder and hole punch and will buy file dividers today!
Did that till evening then made spreadsheet of what the contact has been between DS and his Dad since the split which the lawyer said I needed to do (otherwise she'd do it and charge me her time), so it's quite satisfying to do that. Didn't know I could do spreadsheets! But have worked it out in a kind of DIY fashion with Microsoft Word..haven't got Excel.
Something about numbers does freak me out though. I barely look at bank statements, bills etc. I am really going to have to Get with the program. I haven't actually looked through any of the piles on the floor, brings me out in a cold sweat.

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Bellie · 28/08/2012 08:10

Thats a great start frazzil

Small steps. You have got them into piles, now you only have to manage one pile at a time Smile

It is very satisfying knowing that you can do it yourself and not have to pay your solicitor to do something!!

Keep going!

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Bossybritches22 · 28/08/2012 08:14

Yes Frazzil on pile at a time... then stop & get a cuppa....do something nice...then come back & do another pile. It' s the sheer volume when you try to do it all that is overwhelming. Breaking it down into do-able chunks helps.

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