Confused.com

[Wrenner]

Me and my partner have been together for six years and have two children aged 3 and 16 months. I decided to Seperate as I have been unhappy for a long time and after several attempts to sort things out I felt we needed space. I'm 25 and he's 38. I'm very confused as to what too do. I'm in thr house (joint mortgage) and he's moved to another flat he has. We are different people and he can b very controlling and verbally abusive. Not sure what direction to go down and I'm scared of making the wrong choice about things too. Haven't got many rights as we aren't married.

[SecondhandRose]

I think you will find that times have changed re your rights (I hope).

[Wrenner]

No if your not married you don't have as many rights.

[Collaborate]

If you can't afford to rehouse yourself and your children in a suitable home without either staying where you are or using some of his share of the proceeds of sale (or using some of his other capital is he has some) you should consider applying for capital provision under schedule 1 of the children act. There are a number of threads about this on the legal matters forum.

Generally you're right, and that being unmarried means you have no rights (personal to you) to claim financial provision from him. The only rights you have relate to your children, and any capital provision (by way of housing) you get for them will have to be returned to him when they grow up (although lump sum claims for capital costs like car, furnishings etc don't have to be repaid).

[Wrenner]

If we split he said he will buy me out so I could go and rent elsewhere although I despise that ideA as I will have to live off that and run it dry and have nothing to show. Maybe I'm being greedy?

[Collaborate]

You're not being greedy. Look at the other schedule 1 threads.

[Wrenner]

Can't see many?? I asked my mum if she would take money for me so I could move out and claim hb until I go back to work and she has refused saying its morally wrong. U guess it is but I also see that I walk away from a six year relationship a single parent. I have a pay off. Use that on rent, bills etc then run out. He gets the house and remains in financial comfort. Also I want that money for a mortgage when I'm working as can't get one until I have an income coming In. My company went under whilst I was on maternity leave

[Collaborate]

Have posted a link on the other thread to a search. you'll just have to wade through them. There are plently.

[SecondhandRose]

Why would you have to leave the house? Stay put.

[Xenia]

You need to check if the house if held as "joint tenants" or tenants in common if if the latter what you % shares of it are.
Second as someone mentioned above get legal advice on any Children Act rights which may help.

It is very important the law does not protect those who are not married so people have that choice as to whether to commit to marriage and all the financial implications it brings or not.

Also you chose to give up work. I am assuming you do not work and he does. I did not. Many women work whilst their babies are very tiny. Any woman giving up work runs a massive risk. They ought to be much mjore aware of that and drag themselves back to full time work very quickly which i sbetter for their self esteem too after a baby an dmean they are not left financially destitute and also get used to puttin gin a full day's work whilst sharing their children in a fair feminist way with their other half.

Good luck with it all