Terrified....please help

[Lukat]

My dh and I have made a brave decision to separate, no 3rd party involved it's just gone stale. This happened 8 months ago and we have tried relate but things have fell back into a bad way. No arguing just like best mates really... Separate beds.
The thing is, I am absolutely terrified as I cannot imagine life without him here with me and dd1 (12) and dd2 (8). I cannot do this and keep having panic moments.
I also have no idea when it cones to what benefits I am entitled to, I work 25hrs a week and bring home around £700. Plus the 140ish we get for what I know as family allowance(prob called something different now).
Please can anyone help/advice or just send me a hug. I have failed my kids big time!

[DoingItForMyself]

You haven't failed anyone Lukat. If you and your H are like best mates you will be the greatest single parents ever, no sniping and arguing or trying to get one up on each other.

I've just split from my H (not quite so amicable but still no 3rd party) and have DCs of 5, 7 & 12 so I know exactly how you feel

As a single person you will be eligible for working tax credits & child tax credits in addition to your Child benefit (family allowance) and a council tax reduction. There are apparently some changes due to come in re: benefits etc but for now work on the figures available. Go to the HMRC website (its more up to date than Turn2Us which people often advise) and use their tax credits calculator.

You will have some wobbles and some panics, but you will also feel free from the 'stale' relationship which you've been stuck in. You'll be able to work on your own happiness and may even meet someone in the future who is more of a lover and less of a brother.

You can do this and you deserve more than a compromise of a marriage. Keep posting and please don't blame yourself for any of this. Your DCs will be fine with it, sadly its more common than you think. xxx