Friend' s divorce and settlement

[LittleMissDumpling]

Is my friend's lawyer being honest? She has just issued a petition but her DH has yet to respond.

Her solicitor who is supposedly very good has told her that she will come out with a good settlement. But it seems very unfair to her DH. I thought that in no blame divorce now the money was usually split 50-50. They have no children, she doesn't work, and he earns a lot. It's a long marriage.

She has been advised that it is likely she can keep the home - worth around £2million. He has no home but his company pays for rent where he lives/works and has done for some time.

They have a lot of assets - money in bank, but not as much as the house is worth.

My friend thinks/ has been told she will be able to hang onto the home and possibly receive maintenance as well but I think she's living in cloud cuckoo land.

Is she right to think that she can stay in the house on the basis that his earnings could buy him another home in time?

[Midwife99]

No I think her solicitor is probably right. Long marriage, stay at home wife, she'll be allowed to keep her current lifestyle more or less.

[Collaborate]

Blame has nothing to do with the financial split.

[Cokeaholic]

Can I ask why your friend didn't work ?

Did she support her dh's possibly high flying career in some way ?

If so it does seem somehow wrong that she can continue to be kept by him when she will no longer be supporting him domestically, even though it seems right that she can continue with current lifestyle, assuming that he can too.

[JeffTracy]

Maybe her DH will not respond to the petition. Unless they are already separated it could be five years before she can force the issue.

[Collaborate]

Don't think anyone is quite right here - Cokeaholic expresses a personal opinion about what he/she thinks the law should do (a bit archaeic too if you ask me - wife gets money in return for sex ironing and a bit of light dusting and hoovering, but when the marraige breaks down tough - she's ;eft on her own? What about the commitment of marriage?). Midwifey99 has it closest, but whether she's allowed to maintain her lifestyle, and for how long, depends on the overall resources, length of marriage etc etc. JeffTracy isn't correct. The only petition that requires the consent of the other party to proceed is a 2 year separation one.

[Cokeaholic]

OP, I'm not offering any knowledgeable opinion, just being nosey and pondering the fairness of it all.

[LittleMissDumpling]

To be precise- she doesn't work now. That is a lifestyle choice for want of better words. Over the marriage- 25 years- she did work for about 14 years in 2 part time jobs, neither of which earned her much, relative to his income.

I can't get my head around the "supporting him in his career " idea. In a marriage you both support each other- his income supported her p/t career as she invested in a small business which was then sold.

It wasn't as if she gave up her career to bring up children, or relocated to support him in his work- none of that.

I consulted a lawyer a while back on the verge of divorce and was told house would need to be sold and split between us- and we have 2 DCs. I am wondering why her lawyer is promising her the earth and wonder if it's realistic.

[wilkos]

if thats what shes entitled to then good luck to her. I gave up work to look after our DC'S 5 years ago, my husband counts me giving up a highly lucrative job to support him and his new business worth sod all and has vowed to leave me with nothing.

hes a delightful fellow, as you can imagine

[Midwife99]

I think it's down to negotiation but she would be able to claim to keep the same lifestyle after a long marriage. Why should she go & live in a council flat on income support because they decided as a couple that she would be the homemaker? Maybe the house will be sold eventually so he can buy a house too but she will definitely have another bought for cash for at least £1 million (more if she has kids) & maintenance for the rest of her life plus a share of his pension lump sum & payments. UK law sees the marriage contract as a partnership & the income & assets are shared by both no matter who earns it.

[DoingItForMyself]

Midwife that's encouraging thanks! Do you know what constitutes a 'long marriage'? As a sahm working p/t in a small family business while H worked all over the place with shifts at funny times/days, that means I will still be seen to have contributed to the home by being here for the DCs and he will still have to make sure I'm provided for, not just the DCs?

Wilkos - he sounds like a catch

[Midwife99]

I'm not a lawyer & I think it also depends on the assets & you are working too although part time.

[Midwife99]

Calling collaborate!!

[FioFio]

why are you judging your friend?

I assume ina marriage they both decided what would and wouldn't happen, just because they are getting divorced it doesn't mean her contribution was less.

[JeffTracy]

Ok interesting! Thanks Collaborate. You live and learn I guess...

[LittleMissDumpling]

Fio- am not judging at all- what makes you say that?
Am asking because the legal advice she has been given is very different to what I was told, and also another friend.

I was told by a lawyer that after a similarly long marriage and 2 children, that the joint home would have to be sold- otherwise my DH would have been homeless- or at least starting again.

I can understand quite clearly that if he retains assets worth the same as the house, that is fair- but I can't see the fairness if he ends up with less than 50% .

Midwife if you read the first post I said there were no children. There is no question of her having to live in a council flat- she'd get a £1m if nothing else.

Surely the law does not allow one spouse to live in the manner to which they were accustomed, if ti prevents the other one doing the same? Or does his potential earning power over the next few years mean he would be expected to provide for himself with that?

Not judging- but wondered if her lawyer is embellishing the pay out she will get.

[FioFio]

how long have they been living separately though> and you say his company pay his rent etc as part as his package so his way of life isn't changing either

maybe that's why it is?

i am not in any way connected to family law though. Sorry for asking why you were judging your friend but it just seems a weird thing to ask on behalf of someone else without them knowing. Maybe it would be worth you seeking alternative legal advice regarding your situation to see what that says, but life isnt always about money and if you are unhappy sometimes it's easier to cut your losses - hard when there are children involved though

[Collaborate]

It depends on many factors - look at s25 of the matrimonial causes act 1973. Oodles of case law exists for how the course interpret these principles.

Just accept that your friend's case is going to be different to yours in some respects, so you can't really compare. Depends on their ages, the length of the marriage, what they brought to the marriage in terms of assets, and what her prospects are. For a marriage of say 10 years without kids you'd not expect her maintenance to last longer than the marriage itself. I don't get it why some might think that if, say, H is earning 200k pa and W is housewife with earning capacity of £10k that W shouldn't get any maintenance at all. It's not what most people sign up for when they marry. If you think it's unfair it's best to avoid marriage.

With a £2m house and significant other assets (I assume at least £1m) neither of them will be destitute. Would think though she'd struggle to justify staying in a £2m house.

[Teeb]

Do you know if he has a pension and if that has been taken into consideration? She could be forfeiting her claim on his pension pot (which could be rather considerable) and walking away with the family home and maintenance, while her husband keeps a cash lump sum to start again and assets like pension/shares. This way, the split could be quite near to 50/50.